


I'm Not Paid Enough For This S**t

by malafight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (details in authors notes), All the sex toys, F/F, Fingerfucking, Human AU, Jaspidot - Freeform, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Peridot Is Thirsty, Slice of Life, gross mistreatment of silicone, masturbation at work, scandalous, sex but also sex ed, sex store AU, so many, so the rating went up sooner than expected, there are so many sex toys, you learn AND you come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-06-24 04:38:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15622722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malafight/pseuds/malafight
Summary: A slice-of-life look at Peridot's life as a cashier at a "lingerie store," including dealing with her goofy coworker, her terrifying boss, and the smoking hot customer that keeps coming back for some reason.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'M ALIIIIIIVE hi okay here we go. I've got a new job at a lingerie store... and boy howdy, do I have some stories. So, clearly, the answer is to take these episodes and mix them together with some Jaspidot goodness.
> 
> 90% of the things that are going to happen are lifted directly from shit that has happened to me at work. I'm keeping notes.
> 
> There is no real plot besides "Amethyst is a goof, Jasper is hot, and Peridot is Thirsty" tho. So like. Don't look too deep lmao
> 
> If you like what I do, have a look at my tumblr! I'm malafight there, too!

“Thank you for calling Diamonds and Pearls, your authority on pleasure! How may I help you today?” Peridot answered the store phone with all the chipper energy of someone who was on hour seven of a nine-hour shift and her third Java Monster. She leaned back against the cash wrap and looked over to where Amethyst was eagerly demonstrating one of the thrusting rabbit toys to a pair of blushing girls who were barely old enough to even be in the store. Peridot knew. She’d checked their IDs on the way in.

“Yes, uh…” Peridot fought back a sigh as she registered the breathy, almost whispery tone of an older man who was about to Say Something Dirty. “Do, uh… do y’all have any videos with, uh… toe sucking?”

Peridot blinked. Slowly. Then she built up her Chipper Customer Service Voice to answer.

“Sorry, sir! I don’t know for sure; we’ve got a lot of videos, but you’re welcome to come in and see what we have. We close at eleven tonight.”

Amethyst had moved on to the rotating rabbit toy and bent it back all the way so that the rotation sent the head of the toy practically flailing in a wide arc, the girls giggling madly.

“Well, uh… y’see, I uh, just found this video online…”

Peridot groaned-- internally, of course.

“Yes, sir. There are some really interesting videos online.” She mentally kicked herself, aware of how Robotic that answer was, but unable to come up with anything better. She had no script for this particular situation and just fell back on parroting. The man on the other end of the phone seemed to be getting more comfortable as he spoke, speaking faster and stammering less.

“And she just, this girl, she was getting her toes sucked, and she was really enjoying it, you know?” Peridot looked over to where Amethyst was showing off the power boost setting on the Dolphin and wished fervently to be doing that instead. “And I wanted to enjoy it, too, but--” and here the man laughed almost ruefully-- “Well, I was at the library, you see--”

Peridot just cut in, not wanting to think about some sixty-year-old getting hot and bothered in the library.

“Yeah, they tend to frown on that sort of thing in the library.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The man laughed again. There were a few moments of silence in which Peridot hoped the man had gotten bored and hung up, but she had no such luck.

“Does your boyfriend rub your feet?” The man asked. Peridot felt the most potent mix of dread and embarrassment she thought any person might ever feel as she struggled to even respond to that.

“No, uh- no, sir--” she stammered, bypassing wanting to be in Amethyst’s place and instead being willing to do Literally Anything Else, like plunge the god damn toilet with her bare hands--

“Oh? Why no?” The man sounded genuinely disappointed. Peridot was not paid enough for this shit.

“Because I like girls,” she blurted out, then took a quick breath and added, “We close at 11, have a nice day!” and hung up before she managed to get even more Distressed.

It wasn’t that she had anything against foot fetishists. She wasn’t kinkshaming. Hell, with her kinks, she didn’t have a leg to stand on there. She wrote A/B/O fanfic for fuck’s sake.

But minimum wage was _not_  enough to be someone’s wank bank material, sorry.

She settled the phone back into its holder and sighed deeply, hoping that the flush of pure terror would fade before she had to speak with another customer.

By the time she’d recovered enough to attempt human socialization again, Amethyst had moved on to showing the girls their inflatable vibrating buttplug. Peridot recognized that Amethyst had shifted from her “trying to make a sale” tactics to her “show off the best things in the store because the reactions are fucking hilarious” entertainment plan. The girls probably weren’t going to buy anything anyway-- she knew a lookie-loo when she saw one.

And her assumption was correct; ten minutes later, Amethyst was waving goodbye to them with Tiny Tim, the store’s twelve-inch-tall, four-inch-diameter, gunmetal gray dildo.

Once the door closed behind them, Amethyst set Tim down and flopped halfway onto the counter with a groan.

“I hate teenagers,” she whined.

“You _were_  a teenager. Pretty sure you’re still there in the maturity department,” Peridot poked with a grin. Amethyst just rolled her eyes and flipped her the bird.

“Ha, ha. Ha. No, I mean the ones who come in here thinking they’re being “naughty.” Like no, fuck you, I’m trying to make goal here.”

“I see your naughty teenagers and raise you middle-aged women rolling five deep after a Mary Kay party.”

“Oh, _fuck_ you.”

“Or packs of Marines,” Peridot said with a grin.

“Nah, those are hit-or-miss. Either they giggle at everything like kids or you sell three matching pocket pussies and a communal bottle of lube.”

Peridot raised her eyebrows and nodded.

“Fair enough.”

“Creepy men in their fifties who spend 45 minutes in the video section and come back with three “barely legal” DVDs, two of which are racist as shit.”

Peridot _shuddered_ at that and shook her head.

“God, the creepy old guys are the _worst_. Fuck, I don’t care that you’re buying porn. I really don’t give a fuck. But do they have to have that aura of some kind of predator? Cheesh.”

Amethyst echoed Peridot’s shudder and shook her head.

“You’re lucky you’re white. I have to ring up DVDs like “Young and Horny Latina Sluts” while racist creepers look at me like I’m meat.”

“Ew,” Peridot cringed. “Sorry. If you want me to take DVD sales when we’re scheduled together, I can.”

Amethyst shrugged.

“If you want. I don’t mind being objectified, but _fuck_  if it isn’t creepy coming from men. Give me a cute girl who digs the fat butch look any day.”

“You have a girlfriend,” Peridot laughed. Amethyst just waved a hand dismissively.

“It’s nice to feel attractive. It’s not like I’m gonna do anything.”

Peridot nodded.

“That’s fair.” She looked around the empty store and sighed. “Hour and a half to go. We should start cleaning up.”

Amethyst groaned and seemed like she was trying to become one with the counter.

“After those boys came in earlier, the lube is _wrecked _.__ ”

“I’ll do the lube if you check on all the lingerie,” Peridot offered. “My hands are smaller anyhow.”

“Sweet,” Amethyst said, pushing herself off the counter and heading over to the lingerie racks.

Peridot was almost done straightening the lube -- Amethyst had been right; the whole aisle was a mess -- when the door beeped, signaling a customer.

“Welcome to Diamonds and- whoa,” Peridot stopped mid-sentence. Filling the doorway, almost a bit sheepish, was the tallest, hottest woman she’d seen in her _life_.

The customer was huge, built like a powerlifter, with dark skin that had patches of lighter areas scattered across her face and exposed arms. She had intense gold eyes and a crooked nose, and her shoulders-- hell, her whole body-- were broad and powerful-looking. She had a mane of bleached hair and quite possibly the best tits Peridot had ever seen.

Her face flushed and she scooted towards the customer, grabbing Amethyst’s arm on the way past to stop her coworker from taking this one.

“ _Dibs_ ,” she hissed in a low tone. Amethyst just let out a snort of laughter and went back to sorting through one of the round racks of lingerie. Peridot could still feel her gaze on her back, though.

Despite her eager claiming of this customer, once she was in range, she realized that, one, she had _no_  plan, and, two, she was at the absolutely perfect height to bury her face into those perfect breasts, and then her brain shorted out.

“Uh, can- can I, uh, help you--?” she stammered, still not making eye contact and trying desperately not to look into the woman’s exposed cleavage.

The customer made a little awkward huffy sound and rubbed the back of her neck before starting to laugh uneasily, the sound soft and low.

“Hey, uh- I- need a toy,” she murmured, also apparently unable to make eye contact. Peridot glanced at her and a pleasant shiver went up her spine -- though she could do without the bright, hot flush that reddened her face.

“O-oh! Okay, yeah, um--” she started, looking around and shifting her weight. “You, uh- looking for something internal or clitoral? Or, uh, both--” she babbled, her words falling all over each other. But _fuck_  was she ever grateful that her sales pitch script was almost instinctive now, because she was having trouble focusing on anything but the smoking hot, slightly awkward customer right now.

“Yeah, uhh…” the customer looked around, her cheeks tinted a few shades darker. “I’ve never… done this before, so uh-” she shrugged. “Either, uh- either is fine.”

“How about, ah- both? We’ve got rabbit-style toys that can hit your g-spot and clitoris at the same time--” Peridot was grateful that her Customer Service Brain was taking over. Thank fuck.

The woman nodded, and Peridot beckoned her to follow, leading her over to the shelf of tester toys.

“Now, are you more interested in texture inside, or g-spot stimulation?” She looked up at the customer, who, to her credit, seemed to be relaxing just a bit.

“Mh-” she looked thoughtful. “Texture? I don’t, uh- really know for sure, I don’t do a lot of- uh--” she seemed to pause, and Peridot saw her shifting her weight from foot to foot and looking around.

“Mostly clitoral?” Peridot asked, blushing furiously and trying Very Hard to keep from imagining the hot-ass customer taking care of the aforementioned clitoral simulation.

The customer nodded. Then, to Peridot’s surprise, she looked directly at Peridot. She felt like she could get lost in those intense golden eyes, drown in their rich honey and burn up in their heat- and she didn’t even realize the customer was talking until it was too late to figure out what she’d said.

“Wh-- pardon?” Peridot asked.

“I was, uh- which do you prefer?”

Peridot blushed deeply, but then reached for one of the toys, a pink one with a textured head and a dolphin-shaped clitoral tickler.

“This is our Dolphin. Uh, it--” she turned it on and it buzzed happily, the top half of the toy rotating in small circles. “Here, feel it--” she offered it to the customer, who pressed a hand against it and then withdrew with a speed that spoke of awkwardness and a lifetime of being told that Sexy Things Are Bad. Peridot’s blush deepened, the customer’s embarrassment rather-- endearing, on top of her being hot as fuck. “Here, uh- if you feel the dolphin part here, it’s a nice firm tip, a little easier to control. Most rabbit-type vibes have ears or antennae, which can be a little unpredictable. And here--” she pressed a button and the toy started rotating faster with a barely-louder whirring sound. “Power boost.”

She grinned at the woman, still flushed and still trying not to think of how good she would look using it-- fuck, she didn’t usually have this problem-- and then handed it over for her to test herself.

The woman eyed the toy almost warily and started cycling through the different settings, then hit the power boost again-- and a little lopsided grin crossed her face.

Peridot thought she’d been fucking _shot_  when she caught the other woman’s grin. Fuck, hot as hell, with a cute grin like that--

She was going to die. She was absolutely, one hundred percent, going to die over this woman. Holy shit, she couldn’t handle this--

“I like it,” the woman said, still rather awkwardly grinning and flushed. It pulled Peridot back to reality and dropped her back into Customer Service Mode.

“Uh, great! Do, uh-- do you need anything else?” Peridot asked.

“Nah,” the woman said. “Just gonna get this, I think.”

“Oh, let me grab one for you then--” Peridot said, taking off to grab the box for the Dolphin. As she headed to the checkstand, the Hot Customer in tow, she started talking again. “Now, you’re gonna want to wash this with either toy cleaner or feminine wash, okay? Regular soap would throw off your pH balance, and that’s yeastie city.”

The customer nodded, back to being awkward, but the lopsided grin was still on her face.

Checking her out -- as in, _actually_  checking her out with her items, not ogling her gorgeous tits -- was a quick and simple affair, and as she left, Peridot leaned a little to get a look at her ass as well, jumping in surprise when Amethyst walked up and slapped her on her back.

“Hate to see her go, but Lord, to watch her leave, amiright?” Amethyst taunted. Peridot just nodded dumbly, still a bit dazed. “You looked like a fish for the entire time you were talking to her, by the way, with your eyes all wide like that--” she brought her hands up and circled her eyes with two fingers, sticking her tongue out.

Peridot squeaked in indignation and gave Amethyst a cuff on the shoulder.

“Fuck you!” Peridot whined, more embarrassed than upset. Amethyst just laughed.

“Hey, not my fault your gay-ass brain decided to take a vacation to Hornyville, USA.”

“Fuck you again, y’ big dumb clod!” Peridot snapped. Amethyst just laughed again, clearly unimpressed with Peridot’s bluster.

“You know you love me.”

Peridot tried to keep up her Irritated act, but finally had to drop it with a sigh.

“Bitch.”

“Damn straight. I love you, too.”

Peridot rolled her eyes, but as she went to retrieve the store receipt, her heart skipped a beat.

The woman had paid with a credit card.

She snatch the CC receipt and scanned it for the name of that gorgeous customer, and grinned a little when she landed on it.

Jasper Guerrero.

Peridot murmured _Jasper_ , softly, and looked out the door like she was hoping Jasper would return.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rebellious bullet vibe turns Jasper's second visit Awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I wasn't planning on bumping the rating this quickly but I hadn't counted on Peridot being an entity of pure Thirst.
> 
> Also I recognize that Jasper's embarrassment makes her feel not-quite-Jasper at the moment but I promise there'll be a chance for her to come out of her shell soon. >__>
> 
> Sidenote: no, Sudden Arousal is not a normal problem working at a sex store. Peridot's just got Unfortunate Timing. Also, Battle for Azeroth is coming out tomorrow, so the next update will either be tomorrow when I finish it or like... next week, depending on how much I get done before the expac drops and just how buggy it is lmao

_BzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ_

Peridot groaned and dragged her hand down her face. Again. The God Fucking Damn Bullet was on again.

It was defective. When she’d turned it on for a customer, it wouldn’t cut back off. She’d set it aside to damage out after struggling with it for a good five minutes and _finally_ getting it to turn off, and it had been randomly turning itself back on for the last _four. Fucking. Hours._

On the one hand, she sort of felt sorry for it. It had one purpose, and it couldn’t even fulfill it properly. She could relate.

On the other hand? It was fucking rechargeable and therefore _didn’t have any batteries to remove._

She wrestled with it to turn it back off and sighed in relief as it complied without too much of a fight this time. Small miracles.

Her foe temporarily vanquished, she wandered back over to the guy who was hovering thoughtfully near the buttplugs, a package of anal beads and a bottle of anal desensitizer in his hands. He was, at present, the only other person in the store.

She stopped beside him and pointed at the package of beads.

“Hey, so uh- just to let you know, those are plastic, and they have seams on them that could scratch or tear you inside.”

The man looked alarmed, letting out a surprised “Oh-” before returning it to its peg. Peridot sighed in relief. She did her best to dissuade people from getting the Literally Dangerous items that the company still sent them to sell.

“The silicone ones there are just a couple dollars more, and they’re way safer and better quality. They for you?”

“Oh- thank you,” he said, picking up the silicone beads instead. “They’re for my wife. She wants to try anal, so…”

Peridot nodded.

“Well, if that’s the case, you don’t want the desensitizer, either.” She pointed at the bottle in his hands. “The benzocaine in it numbs everything it touches, including your penis, and then nobody has any fun. Try this--” she reached up to grab a bottle of relaxer instead. “This is a muscle relaxer. Makes it easier to get things in there, plus it makes a nice massage oil, too.” She gave a little snort of laughter at that. Amethyst’s current girlfriend had been none too pleased when she found out Amethyst had been giving her backrubs with anal lube.

The man took the proffered lube and looked it over, then put his desensitizer back.

“Thanks,” he said. Then he gestured to some of the buttplugs in front of him. “And, uh- I really like some of these tails. They aren’t, like, lined with asbestos or anything, right?” He laughed at his own joke and Peridot echoed it with a little snicker.

“Nah, only things you really need to keep in mind is the fox one here--” She tapped the box-- “has a massive plug, and uh--” Then she tapped a small box with a pig tail buttplug in it-- “Don’t get this one, ever.”

The man raised an eyebrow and picked up the pig tail box.

“So… why not? Seems cute--”

“Anything that goes in your ass needs a flared base, or you’re going to the ER. See this?” She pointed at the tail’s curlycue, the closest thing to a base that it had. “Your butt would suck this up like spaghetti.”

The man looked Horrified, and Peridot was more pleased with that reaction than she cared to admit. He put the box back on the peg.

“So- if they’re dangerous, why do you sell them?”

“Because some people are cheap and don’t love themselves.”

The man snorted at that, and Peridot took it as her cue to step back, do a lap around the store. It had been a slow morning and was shaping up to be a slow afternoon as well, so it was mostly to keep herself busy for the cameras, maybe straighten up any errant boxes.

She returned to the cash wrap just in time for the man to come up as well, and she made idle smalltalk as she rung him up. She never bothered to remember the sorts of things she chattered on about while checking out customers; it was all a part of her Customer Service Mode anyhow, and nobody really gave a fuck.

As soon as the door closed behind him, The Buzz started again, eliciting a loud “ _UGH!!_ ” from Peridot as she stalked over to the corner where the bullet was sitting and snatched it up.

It downright refused to turn off. She pressed the button, held it down, clicked it twice, straight up shook the damn thing-- _and it just kept buzzing_. Frustrated huffs of breath turned into growling, and then into verbal abuse, trying her damndest to _turn it off _\--__

She was reared back to fling it across the _fucking_ store when the door beeped and she froze mid-windup to greet whoever was--

Jasper.

Fuck.

She let out a little squeak and immediately shoved the still-buzzing bullet into a pocket, face red.

“Uh-- hi! Welcome back!” she chirped. Jasper looked surprised.

“You remember me?”

“How could I forget--” Peridot blurted out, then gasped softly and blushed bright red as she realized what she’d said.

“Shit, did I do something weird--” Jasper said in a soft, confused voice.

“Wha? No--!” Peridot babbled. “You’re just-- uh-- I really liked your hair! What d’ya use to bleach it, I know with as much as you have it must be such a hassle--” Peridot could see Jasper tilting her head In- either confusion or annoyance, she couldn’t tell, but Nervous Mode Peridot was in control and incapable of Shutting The Fuck Up-- “I know you wouldn’t think a natural blonde would need bleach, but I’ve dyed my hair for cosplay before, and it’s a _nightmare_  to get my hair back to its normal color after that- if it works to get so much of yours done so well, it’s gotta be quality--”

“Splat,” Jasper said, her arms crossed and her hips cocked, a lopsided grin on her lips. Peridot felt her face grow hot and a flush of heat tingle down to her core, the mix of embarrassment and attraction making her feel Some Kind Of Way-- and the constant vibration so close to her pussy- well- that was very much _not_ helping.

“Splat?”

“Yeah. Takes like four boxes and a whole afternoon, but once it’s done, it’s pretty easy to keep it up.” She looked upward a bit like she could see her hair from that angle. “Need to touch it up soon, actually…”

Peridot nodded, her face all red and hot. She hoped fervently that her pocket was dampening the toy’s buzz enough that Jasper wouldn’t get Suspicious--

“I-it, uh-- looks pretty good with the roots showing, at least--?” she squeaked. Jasper seemed to be taken aback, a look of shock crossing her face before she blushed and looked away to rub the back of her neck.

“Uh… wow, thanks,” she mumbled, a cute lopsided grin crossing her features. Peridot swallowed hard and had to force herself into Customer Service Mode before her brain completely shut down.

“Um, so- uh- what, uh, can I help you with today?” she started. Jasper went from sort of goofily bashful to outright embarrassed, not making eye contact.

“I was just… uh, just looking for some lube. The, uh--” she paused and cleared her throat as if to regain some kind of courage. “The toy I got is- uh- it’s- I’m not… used to something bigger than, uh, a- finger- or two--” By the end of her explanation, she was mumbling so low that Peridot could hardly hear her, and Jasper’s face was flushed so dark Peridot was afraid she was going to short out or something.

The bullet continued to buzz quietly against her crotch, and a shiver of heat went through her again. Fuck.

“O-oh, uh-- sure!” Peridot chirped, pushing the tingles of arousal away as best she could and beckoning Jasper to follow her. “You just, uh, looking for basic stuff, or like- warming, cooling, tingling…?”

“Uh- just- the regular stuff, I guess. Nothing special.”

Peridot nodded and pointed at lubes as she passed them, mentally going over the pros and cons of each one. She paused near the middle of the aisle and took a bottle off the shelf.

“Here, I’d go with this one. All natural, with tea tree oil and guava bark extract. Really great for maintaining your pH balance and preventing yeast infections and UTIs. Plus, it’s water-based, so it won’t mess with your silicone toy.”

Jasper took the proffered bottle gingerly and looked it over, an intensity in her eyes that made Peridot want to melt into a puddle on the floor. She shoved that thought down to keep talking.

“One thing with water-based lubes: if it gets gummy, it’s because your body’s absorbed a lot of the water. Just add water somehow- spit works well for that. Don’t just add more lube, because- uh- then it turns into a gummy mess…”

Jasper looked up with an interested expression on her face, one eyebrow raised, and then went back to looking over the bottle.

“Mh… alright. This works.”

“Oh, and uh--” Peridot started, scurrying over to the next aisle and motioning for Jasper to follow. The rapid movement led to instant regret as she felt her lips slipping against each other, a sudden realization that she had hit Properly Wet striking her and making her flush deeper. Hopefully Jasper just thought it was warm in the store--

“Here, um- if penetration is a problem, this is a really great little bullet that works wonderfully--” She picked up a box and opened it, pulling out a pink bullet no longer than her middle finger. “It’s rechargeable, and waterproof -- you can, uh- take it in the shower with you--”

The pulse of heat that went through her made it clear that summoning _that_  mental image had been a Terrible Idea.

Jasper caught up, lube in hand.

“And, uh- it’s- really powerful, too--” Peridot stammered, turning it on with the push of a button. The buzz in her hand resonated with the one in her pants and she groaned internally. This was getting to be a real problem--

She offered the bullet to Jasper, who reached for it warily, and as soon as her fingers touched it, she flinched.

“Holy _shit _\--__ ”

“And that’s just the _lowest_ setting,” Peridot said, grinning.

“Pretty- pretty sure that would make my damn _teeth_  chatter--”

“Or have you yowling like a cat in heat,” Peridot said before she quite realized it, then made a soft _eep_  sound and shut her mouth quickly, her eyes wide as she looked around the store, anywhere but at Jasper.

Jasper, too, looked alarmed, eyes big as saucers and face all flushed. Peridot rushed to apologize, turning the toy off and hastily trying to stow it back into the box.

“S-sorry, that was- I meant- uh--”

“N-no, I uh- I’ll take it. Just in case.”

Peridot let out a little squeak and nodded, offering it to Jasper, who paused for a moment before taking it sheepishly.

Ringing her up this time was-- not quite _awkward_ , but nonetheless Peridot was feeling overhot and almost a bit lightheaded. The buzzing of the rebellious toy was starting to echo through her, and she was afraid her arousal was fucking _palpable_ at this point--

God. Fuck. She’d never had this problem before-- it wasn’t like selling dicks and pocket pussies got her hot and bothered-- but this _specific_  customer, hot as hell but with the _worst_  timing… ugh. _Ugh _.__

She bid Jasper a distracted, but almost reluctant, goodbye, and then looked around the store to make sure she was alone before grabbing the store phone and making a beeline for the employee restroom.

The phone hit the edge of the sink and slide down to rest on top of the drain, and before the door was even all the way closed she was working at her fly, half unzipping and not even getting all the way down before she pushed her pants halfway down her ass and leaned back against the wall with a breathy whine, burying shaking fingers in the short, darker hair between her legs. Her first motions were frantic, overeager rubbing against her clit, movements slick from arousal. Two fingers worked against her clit while her other hand slipped under her shirt to palm one of her breasts, little huffy moans eking their way from between her lips.

Jasper sprang unbidden to mind, alongside a flush of shame that only served to accentuate the heat going through her. She wanted to see the hot customer _using_  the toys she’d sold, shivering in pleasure and making sounds she could only _imagine_. She’d never felt this way about a customer -- hell, she’d _rarely_  felt with way about any of her _girlfriends_ \--

Soft, nasal squeaks filled the small room as she pressed her fingers against the soft nub of her clit, pleasure flashing hot and cold through her and her hips moving involuntarily-- just slightly, just enough to make her have to adjust her movements.

She rolled her pert nipple between two fingers and imagined Jasper in the shower, little pink bullet pressed against her clit, buried in a tangle of beautiful dark hairs and barely visible. Water ran down her body in rivulets, trickling over light and dark skin and dripping from her hair. Jasper gripped the handle of the shower with white-knuckled force as she growled out moans in the same low tone with which she spoke.

Peridot let out a breathy moan and had to turn around, press her forearm against the wall and lean her head against it, needing the balance and grounding more than the attention to her breast. Her fingers moved at a feverish pace, the flushes of shame hitching along with the heat of pleasure, driving her ever upwards.

In her mind, Jasper was climbing with her, body tense as she worked to keep her balance through leg-trembling pleasure. Her moans and huffs were low, but free, the imagined sounds making Peridot’s whole body flush burning hot.

She squeaked softly as her own legs started trembling, just on the edge of release and teetering dangerously, her body at its limit in her current position--

Jasper came undone as Peridot came with a soft, whiny moan. As pleasure rolled through her body, Peridot could see Jasper trembling, and hear her moaning loud and gruff in her head.

Peridot didn’t get a chance to come down as she heard a loud clatter and her dazed mind registered that the bullet had fallen out of her pocket and was buzzing and bouncing merrily against the concrete floor.

She let out a curse and stared at it for a moment as it that would solve _anything_.

And then the door beeped, and Peridot shifted into a manic frenzy as she tried to right everything quickly enough to attend to whoever had just walked through the door, thanking whatever deities she could think of that they’d had the decency to at least wait until she was fucking _finished_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A customer gets more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii!!! >w< I'm trying to make these some level of educational as well... so I'm hoping that's getting across >__>;; hope you're enjoying this, because i'm having a ton of fun writing it!!

“God, porn is racist as shit.”

Peridot looked up from where she was sorting out a box of new stock.

“Amethyst, you say that every time we get new DVDs.”

“Well, yeah, they’re racist as shit every time we get new DVDs.”

Peridot shrugged.

“Well, you’re not wrong.” She reached into the box she was currently working on and pulled out a stack of DVDs of her own. “Let’s see what we’ve got in today’s batch.”

“’The Latin Sensation That’s Banging the Nation!’” Amethyst raised a DVD and waved it at Peridot. “Look, it me.”

Peridot snorted and raises another.

“’Chocolate Face Cocksuckers 2’. Better plot than the first, but only 75% the chocolate.”

“’Hickory Dickory C*ck’,” Amethyst raised. “Because clearly, what gets me all wet is children’s nursery rhymes.”

Peridot just snortlaughed.

“Hey, don’t underestimate the depths of human depravity. We’ve got Crying Breakfast Friends porn.”

“Wait, what?” Amethyst looked like she’d been slapped upside the head with a fish. “ _Why_. Better yet- HOW.”

“Naughty Nanner introduces Distressed Dumpling to the wonderful world of Kumquats. Got it in last week.”

“You are  _shitting_  me.”

“On my god damn honor.”

Amethyst dropped her DVDs on the counter and gripped one of Peridot’s wrists.

“ _Show me,_ ” she whispered, like she was an adventurer seeking some great treasure.

Peridot was trying her best not to laugh as Amethyst dragged her to the DVD section in the back of the store. Once they arrived, she crouched down and started thumbing through the cases.

“’Big Butt Lesbian Club #3’… ‘Busty Office MILFs 6’… ‘I Love My Lesbian Stepsister’… Ah! Here is is. ‘Cumming FuckFest Friends’.” Peridot passed it to Amethyst, who looked at it in fucking  _awe_  for a few moments, like she was holding the Holy Grail, then looked solemnly at Peridot.

“We  _have_  to watch this. Right now. Immediately. It’s our duty.”

Peridot glanced around the empty store. It  _had_  been awfully slow all day…

“ _Let’s do it._.”

Anethyst scrambled to the checkstand and plugged in the old TV they used to test returned DVDs. In minutes, the opening scenes started playing, and both women were huddled in front of the small set.

“A new craze has been taking Breakfastlandia by storm!” The announcer boomed. Peridot snorted.

“ _This is gonna be awesome,_ ” Amethyst whispered.

“This is awful, Nanner!” Distressed Dumpling sobbed. “No one will pay any attention to me! All my friends are busy with- with with Kunk-whatsits! I’m so lonely!!”

A banana with a cleft chin and chiseled features made his way over to Dumpling and sat down beside her, letting her cry on his shoulder- er-- figuratively, of course.

“There, there, my delicious little Dumpling. Everything will be fine. Naughty Nanner is here for you.”

“Oh, Nanner!” Dumpling sobbed, great big tears flying from her eyes. “I’m just so lonely, I can’t take it!!”

“Never fear, my darling. You can join in on the fun with me. What your friends are doing…”

“This is awful,” Peridot snorted, grinning nonetheless.

“The worst,” Amethyst responded, transfixed.

They watched intently as Naughty Nanner suddenly grew a banana-shaped dick and Distressed Dumpling took it in with awe, tears still on her face.

Five minutes later, and Nanner was berries-deep in Dumpling’s savory snatch, the both of them making the most ridiculous noises and grunting out completely incomprehensible fragments of phrases.

“Oh, oh! Nanner! More! More! I want your cock! Fill me with your smoothie!!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, she shouldn’t even know what a cock is--” Peridot motioned towards the TV. “I can’t masturbate to this! There are too many plotholes!”

Amethyst was laughing so hard she was almost wheezing.

The video kept running as the pair watched, Distressed Dumpling getting fucked fourteen ways from Sunday and making the most absolutely  _fake_  sounds. Three other characters showed up, changed just barely from canon characters. Peridot continued pointing out plot holes while Amethyst loudly echoed her favorite moans as she folded over the counter and shrieked with laughter.

The door beeped and both of them straightened up and turned around, trying to hide the TV as Dumpling continued screaming, “Yes! Yes! Fuck me! Right there!”

It was Jasper again. Peridot turned red and immediately wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die, the prettiest woman she’d ever seen having caught her in the middle of watching a frankly ridiculous porno on the clock. At least Amethyst had moved to turn the TV off--

“Uh-- hi! Welcome to Diamonds and Pearls--” Peridot squeaked, throat all constricted in her embarrassment. Jasper flashed her That Grin and Peridot had to restrain herself from clutching her chest.

“That, uh-- that green Bug out there yours?” Jasper asked. Peridot flushed bright and nodded. “It’s cute,” she added, her voice all low and gruff.

“Thank you--” Peridot said in a small voice, then gave her head a little shake to clear it. “Uh-- is there- anything I can help you with tonight-?”

Jasper flushed and grew sheepish again.

“No, uh- just- looking around.”

“Well, uh- lemme know if you need anything?” Peridot squeaked.

Jasper walked towards the lube aisle and Peridot collapsed against the back counter next to Amethyst.

“You got it bad,  _chica_.” Amethyst gave Peridot a nudge with her shoulder. “You should say something.”

“What?!” Peridot asked, barely above a whisper. “She’s just gonna think I’m weird!”

Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“Like she wouldn’t find that out on the first date anyhow.”

“Wow.” Peridot said, deadpan. “Fuck you? Yeah. Fuck you.”

Amethyst shrugged, grinning.

“Truth hurts, Peri.”

“My fist is gonna hurt when I slug you,” Peridot crossed her arms and turned away a bit, ostensibly pouting.

“Nah. You’ve got the upper body strength of a two-year-old.”

“Oh my God,” Peridot said, shaking with the effort to keep from laughing. “I’m- I’m gonna kick your ass. Meet me in the parking lot after closing and catch these hands, clod.” She turned and made a little punching motion. Amethyst caught her hand easily and poked her tongue out.

“I’m terrified.”

“Clod.”

“Brat,” Amethyst closed in and poked Peridot’s forehead. “Talk to her or I’ll do it for you.”

“That is  _not_  how you wingman--”

“That is  _absolutely_  how I wingman.”

Peridot summoned up every ounce of courage she had to stumble her way over to the lube aisle, where Jasper was standing thoughtfully.

“You, uh-- did you not like the other stuff?” she asked, hovering a ways away and trying not to think about how it might feel if that intense, thoughtful gaze turned to her.

“Uh--” Jasper went from concentration to embarrassment immediately and only glanced at Peridot for a moment before averting her eyes. “I just, uh- the uh, last lube didn’t- work--”

Peridot tilted her head in confusion.

“Didn’t work?”

“Yeah, um… it… it wasn’t slick enough. I still can’t get it in…” Jasper picked up a bottle of clear lube with tiny red beads suspended in it. “Maybe, uh- warming…?”

“No!” Peridot snatched the lube away from her before she even realized she’d done it, leaving the both of them in shock for a moment, then she stumbled rapidly to apologize. “Shit, sorry- I just- we try not to sell this one. It isn’t safe. These little beads- they don’t pop most of the time, and can get caught in your- uh- urethra- and cause infections.”

Jasper seemed to shiver a bit, but she looked more confused than anything else, brows knitted intently.

“But… why do you sell it, then? If it’s not safe?”

Peridot looked at the bottle in her hand and sighed as she put it back.

“Truth be told, most of this stuff is still sold as ‘novelties,’ and because of that… there are no safety regulations put in place. Some companies are okay--” she pointed at a row of one brand of lubes-- “Like this one, it’s run by gynecologists, but others…” She shrugged. “Cheap materials, poor safety testing, sometimes none at all -- unscrupulous companies can really get someone hurt. We do our best, but we can’t change everyone’s minds.”

Jasper tilted her head to one side, and Peridot could see a flush on her cheeks.

“Well… at least you’re here, right? Saving people from themselves.”

Peridot gave a sheepish little laugh and looked away, grinning just the slightest. The door beeped and she jumped a bit, then turned to go greet the next customer with a “Come get me if you need anything!” at Jasper.

Amethyst gravitated her way back to the cash wrap as well, but Peridot beat her there. The customer -- a white man in probably his late forties, early fifties -- already looked irritated as he hovered in front of the register.

“Uh, can I help you?” Peridot asked, eyes darting over his features as if to take in every hint that he might be a problem. He already felt Wrong somehow, and she didn’t… want it to get worse.

“I need to return this,” he said, plonking a box on the counter. The box was half-torn, and inside was a buttplug -- decent sized, but sort of awkwardly shoved back into the box. “It didn’t fit.”

Peridot heard Amethyst snort behind her, followed by the telltale sounds of her trying her best not to laugh out loud.

“Uh--” Peridot was, for a moment, at a loss for words. All she could do, for a few breaths, was point to the sign taped to the counter that said, in all caps, “ALL SALES FINAL.” When she found her voice again, she had to clear her throat first. “We, uh, can’t… take returns. Sorry, sir.”

“But I didn’t use it!” He raised his voice, clearly completely unfazed by the fact that he was very nearly yelling over a god damn buttplug. Behind Peridot, Amethyst couldn’t contain her laughter and had to retreat to a nearby aisle to keep from falling out behind the counter.

Peridot had to put her foot down.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we’re unable to return  _any_  products,  _especially_  toys.”

“It’s unused!” He growled, gripping the edge of the counter. “You can make an exception! Just give me my money back!!”

Peridot took a small step back, wary, but then leaned forward and gritted her teeth, raising her voice just the slightest and putting on her best Serious Voice.

“Sir, we  _cannot accept returns!_  If you’re going to continue being belligerent and disruptive, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

The man reared back and slammed his hands down on the counter, teeth visible in a furious grimace.

“Listen here, you dumb bitch! You’re going to give me my god damn money back, or I’m going to call the law and sue you, and your company, and anyone else until I get what I deserve!”

A huge hand fell heavily on his shoulder and he turned to look at Jasper’s boobs. Then he looked up and saw Jasper’s face.

The woman was grinning; there was a light in her eyes that made Peridot tingle inside and a lopsided, toothy grin far removed from the sheepish ones she’d given Peridot before.

“I’m sorry… what was that about getting what you deserve?” Jasper growled. And it  _was_  a growl, low and gruff and chillingly calm.

“I- uh- wh- I’m--” the man stuttered, cringing.

“If you don’t stop harassing this fine woman, I’ll show you what you  _deserve_ , you insignificant waste of meat.”

Peridot was blushing brightly, unable to take her eyes off of Jasper’s intense stare. She should be frightened -- Jasper was intimidating as  _fuck_  like this -- but more than anything, she was entranced, warm and tingling inside and ready to vault over the counter and climb Jasper like a god damn tree.

“Give me your driver’s license, shithead.” Jasper commanded, holding out her hand. Peridot was shocked to see him fumbling with his wallet, turning over his ID with shaking hands. Jasper looked it over and then handed it back to him.

“Now, you’re going to apologize to her, leave the store, and never come back. If I so much as  _think_  you’re coming near here again, I’m gonna go to your house, rip your dick off, and fuck you to death with it. Understood?”

“Y-yes ma’am--” the man squeaked, his voice sounding like it had to fight its way to the surface.

“Apologize.”

The man turned to Peridot and squeaked out a pathetic “ _S-sorry--_ ” before Jasper rested a heavy hand on his head and he froze up. She lowered her head to growl in his ear.

“ _Now get the fuck out_.”

Peridot watched as the man scrambled out of the store like his ass was on fire, leaving his box on the counter. Jasper turned to Peridot and flashed her a grin that was far more confident than she’d looked since the first time Peridot had seen her.

“Sorry. I’m Jasper. You?”

“Uh--” Peridot’s mind went black for a second or two, still recovering from the intense rush of heat that Jasper’s-- tone, expression, defense--  _everything_  had sent through her. Her tongue felt fat and clumsy in her mouth.

“Uhm- a-ah, Peridot. I’m Peridot.”

“Nice to meet you, Peridot,” Jasper said. She looked around the cash wrap and grabbed one of the rainbow pussy lollipops and set it on the counter, her grin growing a bit more sheepish again.

“This, uh- is it.”

Peridot swallowed hard and stumbled to ring Jasper up. Once the money was exchanged, they lingered for a few moment, silent and shy, a tension between them that was broken by Jasper dipping her head.

“Well, uh-- g’night--” she said, then disappeared out the door without waiting for a response.

Amethyst sidled up to Peridot, hands on her hips, and nudged her shoulder.

“So you need me to cover for a minute so you can head in the back for a wank?”

“Sh-shut the fuck up,” Peridot said, both remembering her last meeting with Jasper and  _sorely_  tempted to take Amethyst up on the offer.

“Suit y’self,” Amethyst said with a shrug. “What’d she get, anyhow?”

“Rainbow pussy pop. Y’think she’s trying to send a message--”

“Peridot.” Amethyst circled around in front of her and rested one hand on each of her shoulders solemnly. “I’m going to tell you something, and I say this in all honesty. I love you dearly, and care about your well-being, and want you to be happy. But you are a fucking idiot. A massive gay disaster. She just threatened to castrate a guy for you; the least you could have done was ask for her number instead of gaping like you got fucking punched in the teeth.”

Peridot made a strangled sound of pure indignation, unable to come up with anything for a second.

“I- you! She’d think I was weird!”

“One, you  _are_  weird. Two, I’m pretty sure your panties-”

“I’m wearing boxers-”

“-are soaked after that shit. Anyone could see how you wanted to jump her. She  _was_  trying to send a message, you useless lesbian.”

“Hey, fuck you-” Peridot whined. Amethyst just shrugged nonchalantly.

“You know I’m right, shitlips. Now-- what are we gonna do with the buttplug?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot deals with Too Many Questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I FORGOT TO ADD AUTHORS NOTES WHOOPS
> 
> I have two more chapters I need to type up! Yaayyyy
> 
> Anyhow, if you like what I do, check out my tumblr, @ malafight //eyebrow waggle
> 
> Thank you for reading!!

There was a certain, easy-to-recognize tactic with shoplifters, wherein one person distracts an associate and another nicks anything they can carry while the associate's back is turned. Peridot found herself in the midst of one of these heists, and had nothing she could do about it. It wouldn't have usually been a problem were it not for the fact that Amethyst was also currently occupied with a phone call, the third one today from the same guy with, from what Peridot could surmise, reservations about pegging.

“Just remember that prep is important,” Peridot heard her say. “Don't just shove it in and hope for the best; you don't do that with your girlfriend, do you?”

Peridot returned her gaze to the guy monopolizing her attention, having to ask him to repeat his question.

“I asked if this lube was flammable? There's fire on the logo.”

“No, it's warming and tingling. Can be a little intense for some people.” Her voice was flat, and it was hard to keep from sounding exasperated. She was having trouble keeping track of his female companion like this, too--

“No, no, that's probably an okay length if you're careful and prep well,” she could hear Amethyst apparently trying to console the guy-- “No, he's probably exaggerating, or including his balls in the measurement. That's still above average, but if you're careful and go slowly--”

Apparently the guy was talking about another guy now. Probably a prank call, at this point--

“Ooh, pot lube! Can this get me high?”

Peridot sighed. No, this was not the first time she'd gotten that question. Wouldn't be the last, either.

“No. It's hemp seed oil, not pot.”

“But it's got pot leaves on it!”

Peridot was pretty sure this guy's accomplice just ducked down to shove something else in her bag, but she wasn't sure and couldn't go look--

“It's got _hemp_ leaves,” she said, trying to keep the aggravation out of her voice. “It has CBD in it, the chemical that gives you all the health benefits. There is no THC in it. That's what would get you high. Also, it's illegal to sell any kind of pot in this state.”

“You know a lot about weed!” The guy grinned at her. One of his teeth were crooked. “Do you smoke pot?”

Peridot was 100% gonna kill this motherfucker. She kept her voice level and deadpan.

“No, I do lines of coke off a stripper's ass every Friday night.”

“Isn't that illegal?”

“Not if you don't get caught.”

Amethyst drifted back by. Peridot could see the frustration on her face, but she was doing a good job of keeping it out of her voice.

“Honestly, you should just tell your girlfriend you're worried about this. Communication is key in any relationship--”

She returned her attention to the pain in her ass, who had gravitated to an endcap even further away from his partner.

“What are these?”

“Kegel balls,” Peridot sighed. “They're for a woman to put in her vagina to strengthen her Kegel muscles, or just for pleasure. They can help with bladder control, tightening back up after pregnancy, and intensifying orgasms.” This was not a new spiel, for sure.

“Can I use them in my ass?”

“If you wanna go to the ER.”

“Yeah, she should have given you more warning about this,” Peridot could hear Amethyst say. “One day isn't a long time to consider something this big--”

“So what's the difference between, like, regular lube and ass lube?”

Peridot sighed.

“Some anal lube has more additives for things like numbing or relaxing your muscles.”

“So I can't use regular lube in my ass?”

“You can. Nobody's stopping you. It wouldn't be bad for you; it works just the same as it would in the vagina.”

“So you don't think I'm gay if I wanna put things in my ass, right?”

Peridot was straight up gonna kill this motherfucker.

“Prostate stimulation is actually very pleasurable for male-bodied individuals.” All those years of writing Percierre fucking taught her that long before she started working here.

“If you're really worried about this, _you need to tell her, dude_. I know you wanna make her happy, but man, that don't mean you gotta do somethin' that's making you this nervous--”

Amethyst walked by and Peridot sighed.

The male customer had moved a bit away, and Peridot say the female circling around. She was about to head towards the woman when the guy whistled and snapped his fingers to get her attention.

In her head, Peridot jumped the shelf and beat him to death with an eleven-inch dildo.

But she just circled around to find him pointing at the glass toys.

“Wouldn't these, like, break if you used 'em?”

“No,” Peridot said, deadpan. “Most of our brands here use medical-grade glass. They're nonporous, body-safe, and very unlikely to break unless you're exerting a significant amount of force. I've dropped one on a concrete floor before and it was fine.” She wasn't going to go into the details about the process or warn about the one toy with a finger-loop that would break off in your hand for this guy. Not because she wanted him to find out for himself, but because she knew he wasn't going to actually _get anything_.

“So it wouldn't break off in my ass or anything?”

Peridot began compiling a list of things she _would_ break off in this fucker's ass.

“Bro, if you're worried about a black guy fucking you, I don't know what to tell ya besides _talk to your girlfriend._ ”

“So, uh, what about bondage stuff? Y'know, whips 'n shit,” the guy asked. Peridot pointed at the wall with their bondage items and looked for the guy's companion, who appeared to have disappeared again. “Isn't it freaky when people come in to buy this stuff? Weird kinky shit, man.”

“No.” was all Peridot said, at this point Absolutely Fed Up.

“Listen, bro, you're new at butt stuff. I'd say start with anal beads, not a twelve-inch dick, my dude.”

Peridot looked over at Amethyst, who seemed just as Done as she was, and when she returned her attention to her own customer, his female companion had come up and wrapped her arm in his, holding a cheapie bottle of subpar lube that Peridot wasn't even going to try to upsell.

“Ready to go?” the guy asked, and the girl nodded. He pointed at the cash wrap. “Come sell us this shit.”

Peridot was, absolutely, one hundred percent going to hunt this guy down and skin him in his sleep.

But her Customer Service Mode demanded civility, and she rang them up with no fuss and reprinted the receipt once they were gone.

Those dumb-ass motherfuckers paid with a credit card. Plus, Peridot got a good look at their license plate.

Peridot set the receipt down and grabbed a clipboard just as Amethyst hung up the phone.

“I'm not even sure what I just talked to this guy about for the last twenty fucking minutes,” she groaned.

“Anal, mostly,” Peridot said as she scribbled the license plate number on a post-it. “And probably racism.”

“Fucking prank calls, man.”

“I'm gonna check and see what all these assholes stole. You wanna check the security cams while I'm at it? Get the videos ready for the cops.”

“Mhm,” Amethyst said with a nod and headed to the back of the store.

About fifteen minutes later, Amethyst met Peridot at the front with a thumb drive of the security videos already prepared. Peridot went down the list she'd made.

“Two buttplugs, a feather boa, a pair of vibrating panties, three different flavored lubes, and arousal cream,” she said with a sigh. “Altogether over two hundred dollars of shit lifted. I knew I should have made her leave her bag by the door...”

“Hey, we got all the shit we need to nail 'em,” Amethyst said with a shrug. “You want me to make the call?”

Peridot was Not a huge fan of phones, so she nodded and handed Amethyst the phone before starting to write down the events while they were fresh in her memory.

She finished writing just as she heard Amethyst set the phone down and just start _cackling_.

“Oh my god, Peri- you gotta- holy _shit--_ ”

Peridot raised an eyebrow, but grinned despite herself. Amethyst's laughter was infectious.

“Oh god, he- Peri, I told him she'd stole a boa, yeah? Ahahaha- he said- you know what he said, Peri?”

She couldn't help but laugh at Amethyst's delivery.

“No, what?”

“He said- Jesus Christ, I can't- he said- ' _I didn't know you sold snakes'!_ Snakes!”

Peridot let out a bark of laughter as Amethyst pounded the counter.

“ _Snakes_ , Peri!!”

The tension from the shoplifting dissipated as the pair snorted and giggled, taking a little while to just let themselves relax.

When they seemed good and done, Amethyst wiped away a tear and grinned.

“Cops'll be here in like twenty minutes to take statements 'n stuff. We cool?”

Peridot nodded, then yawned a little, the anxiety and anger from before giving way to exhaustion. At least they were closing soon...

The door beeped and Peridot sighed, turning to greet the customer and flushing deeply at the sight of Jasper in a tight tank top and too-short shorts, muscular arms and legs just on display for Peridot's gay-ass eyes to lap up like honey. Her brain checked _right_ the fuck out, and all she could do was blush and gape.

Jasper looked over at her, and all Peridot could do was make a strangled noise and look away before going to the lube aisle with a purpose, to- uh- straighten everything up. And absolutely not hide from the incredibly hot customer who was just- _there_ , in the store, being all- hot- and stuff--

She sneaked a glance over the aisle to take in _Jasper_ again and realized that the already-tall woman was in really cute heels that made her calves and thighs and ass look _fucking fantastic_ and added a good three inches to her considerable height.

Peridot squeaked and shrank down when Amethyst pointed over at her and Jasper turned to look. Oh god what was Amethyst doing--

She could hear Spanish, the two of them talking rapid-fire, and she could only understand an article here and there, so she just stayed hidden and flushed and panicking, with her heart in her throat and a frustrating heat in her crotch. After Jasper's defense of her last time, and the pussy lollipop- fuck, she didn't have the _faintest_ idea what to do--

She was silent, hiding, dizzy and flushed for a few minutes until Amethyst's voice shook her out of her anxiety.

“Hey, sapphic disaster, she's gone.”

Peridot poked her head up over the low shelf.

“What was she here for?”

“To give you here number.”

“Ha.”

“No, seriously. She must have a thing for tiny gay train wrecks, because I got her digits right here.”

“ _WHAT_.”

Amethyst dangled a post-it in the air. Peridot watched the little yellow square, entranced, for a few moments before scrambling up to the checkstand and trying to grab it.

“Hey! Don't snatch it, you'll give me a papercut--!!”

“Then gimme--!”

Peridot was practically climbing up Amethyst's side to grab the post-it, but once she finally had it clasped between her fingers, her expression turned from triumph to abject panic.

“Fuck, what is she thinking-- what am _I_ thinking-?!”

“I dunno, probably some variation on 'shit, I'm gay.'” Amethyst said, grabbing her soda and taking a loud, long slurp. “I mean, either of you there. Don't see why she'd be attracted to your pathetic ass--”

“ _We dated for almost a year!!_ ”

“Amethyst flashed her a goofy grin.

“Yeah, so of all people, I should know what a hot mess you are.”

“You are _horrible._ ”

“And yet you still love me.” Amethyst closed in enough to give Peridot a rough noogie, eliciting an indignant yelp.

“ _Aaaaa-!!_ ” Peridot whined and wriggled in Amethyst's grasp, and Amethyst released her without much of a fight.

“C'mon, put it in your phone,” Amethyst said as she passed the post-it over to Peridot. She looked down at the paper and shivered, giving a little distressed whimper.

“God, what if she's just doing it to make fun of me--”

Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“Chill, boo. This isn't middle school any more. The hot-ass customer wants to smash.”

Peridot made a strangled sound and flushed deeply at the mere thought that Jasper might be interested in her.

Amethyst pushed past her and headed for the tester shelf, where she dripped some lube on a finger and stuck it in her mouth. Peridot just... blinked dumbly at her a moment.

“...Amethyst, are you eating the lube.”

“Only the flavored kind. I finished my drink.”

Peridot sighed and shook her head, for the moment distracted from her anxiety by Amethyst's silliness.

She had to admit... it helped.

She looked down at the string of numbers in her hand and shoved the post-it into her pocket.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot finds herself in an Unfortunate Situation involving holes and things that go in them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //waves HI THANK YOU FOR READING IF YOU LIKE MY CONTENT CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR @ MALAFIGHT or on pillowfort.io though i ain't got shit there yet
> 
> xo love yall ;3c

The butt was out. Now, in any other workplace, the presence of a disembodied ass on the counter would seem, at best, disconcerting. Here, it was entertainment.

The butt was a good 25 pounds of silicone, modeled after a popular porn star, with two fuckable holes that felt completely different. It was startlingly real, save the fact that it stopped at the edge of her ass in both directions. It was also over four hundred dollars, after tax.

They would often put it out on slow days, when they particularly needed to stave off boredom. Customers' reactions were a source of endless amusement for both Peridot and Amethyst.

A pair of young men were looking it over in awe, one of them slapping it with loud smacks and groping the silicone cheeks, showing just a hint of soft give before the silicone grew firmer deeper down. Peridot was watching with a dumb grin on her face, and she urged the second man to join him.

“Go on, give her a grope--” She made a little motion toward the butt. The guy looked sheepish.

“Sorry, I just- my hands are a little dirty.”

Peridot made a dismissive motion in the air.

“What's a little dirt? I'll wipe it off, no problem.”

The man did not grope the butt. He did not slap the butt. Peridot watched in abject horror as the man, very deliberately, shoved his fingers first in one hole, and then the other.

Peridot made a soft choking sound as he withdrew them to reveal black rings around her pussy and asshole. Peridot was not allowed to murder customers, but in that exact moment, she was absolutely ready to give that man a concussion with a disembodied ass.

She seethed her way through suggesting lubed. Imagined punching his stupid face in as she showed off a few pocket pussies. Rang him up to the tune of stringing his stupid ass up by the heels and dangling him head-first like an animal about to be slaughtered.

And as soon as he and his friend left, Peridot grabbed the ass, all 25 pounds of it, and dragged it to the back bathroom with a cloth and a bottle of toy cleaner.

It took a good ten minutes of scrubbing to even get the damn ass _presentable_ and another ten to get it properly cleaned, and by the time she was done, she was irritated and sweaty and ready to absolutely murder the next person to ask her Any God Damn Thing.

She lugged the still-dripping ass up to the front of the store and hefted it onto the counter with a groan. Amethyst came over, eyebrow raised.

“Why'd the ass need a scrubbing?”

“Unidentified black junk around her pussy and asshole.”

“Oh, ew. She looks okay now, at least--”

“Yeah, just gonna leave her out a little while to dry. I'm going outside.”

Amethyst waved her on and Peridot wandered outside to lean against the railing at the end of their building and look out at the parking lot. It was muggy as hell, and she'd felt sticky the instant she'd walked outside, but the chance to get out of the store for a little while was a welcome one. She liked her job, just sometimes – customers were _infuriating_.

She sighed and shifted to pull out the worn post-it note she still had in her pocket from yesterday, looking at the ten digits on yellow paper as she turned it over in her hand thoughtfully.

She'd never gotten a girl's number before. Certainly not one as fucking drop-dead gorgeous as Jasper--

Hell, her last girlfriend was from the college. Looking back, Lapis had been a goddamn nightmare. At least her breakup with Amethyst was an amicable one that continued on as a strange, vaguely handsy, but ultimately innocent friendship. She was glad she had _someone_ in this godforsaken city. It was Amethyst who had convinced her to finally break up with Lapis, and after that, Peridot had decided that maybe dating Was Not For Her.

And now there's Jasper. She had to have-- some kind of ulterior motive. Had to be thinking this was just some huge fucking joke.

Peridot looked at the numbers again and sighed.

Lapis had told her that nobody would be willing to deal with how obnoxious she was. Is. She didn't... want this to end badly. She didn't want another Lapis. She'd been hot, too, but in a different way. Lapis's attractiveness came from her don't-give-a-fuck persona. Like it was effortless. Peridot had thought she could be something that Lapis would finally give a fuck about. As it turned out, all Lapis gave a fuck about was getting eaten out regularly. Lapis hadn't even seemed upset after they'd broken up. Sure, she threw a fit when Peridot actually brought it up, but when she realized that berating Peridot wasn't going to change her mind, she just grew cold. Peridot was thankful that Lapis hadn't tried to get back together, but it hurt to think that she had been so unimportant to have no effect on Lapis's life when she left.

She didn't want another Lapis. She didn't want to run another relationship into the ground. She was afraid of having to end it.

Peridot looked over the phone number again and sighed.

She didn't want it to end badly, but did that mean she didn't want it to _begin?_

She took a deep breath and pulled out her phone, opened her contacts. One by one, she entered the numbers in with shaking hands.

Was she going to do this? Fuck, she already knew she wouldn't be able to handle it if Jasper echoed anything Lapis had said.

She looked at the numbers in her hand, then the numbers on her phone, and closed the app without saving Jasper's number. She shook her head. This was a joke. It would hurt less if she didn't take the bait.

Peridot stowed her phone back into her pocket and went back into the empty store. As she circled around behind the cash wrap, she spotted a box on the counter and went to investigate.

“Amethyst, why is there and empty buttplug box behind the counter...”

“I'm a unicorn!” came the energetic voice behind her. Peridot closed her eyes and sighed before turning around.

Amethyst had suction-cupped a four-inch-long purple buttplug to her forehead. Peridot groaned and dragged her hand down her face.

“What if a customer sees you.”

“Then they find out a new way to use a buttplug.”

“...that's fair.”

Amethyst grinned broadly.

“C'mon, go get the green one, we can be twinsies!”

Peridot's couldn't help but mirror Amethyst's dumb grin.

“The Shorty Squad does fantasy?” she asked. Amethyst disappeared for a few moments before the green buttplug box came sailing across the store. Peridot stumbled to catch it.

“Put it on, shit-tits, we gon' fight!!”

Peridot groaned, ostensibly Fed Up, but popped open the box to extract the toy.

Within five minutes, they both had their respective horns on their foreheads and were each wielding flesh-colored, eighteen-inch double-ended dildos, facing off in the vibrator aisle with gently-swaying meat truncheons.

It was a slow night. This was not a new sight to the security cameras.

Peridot pushed Amethyst backwards with wild, rapid, exceedingly floppy thrusts. Amethyst countered with even more aggression, slapping her toy against Peridot's with a loud smack. They pushed and pulled their way up and down the vibrator aisle, letting out whoops and shrieks of laughter as each one tried to knock the other's buttplug horn off.

Peridot claimed victory as she leaped forward, swinging her “sword” in a wide arc and clipping Amethyst's horn hard enough to send it spinning into a row of Rabbit Company vibes.

Amethyst let out a string of curses and dropped her “sword” in frustration.

“Why do you always win?!”

“Nyehehe,” Peridot laughed. “Peridot, reigning champion!!”

“You've gotta be cheating somehow,” Amethyst laughed as she started straightening everything back up. Peridot shrugged.

“Guess I'm just faster.”

“You feel better, dipshit?”

Peridot paused with a little _huh_ as she thought.

“...yeah. Thanks.”

Amethyst walked over and flicked Peridot on the nose with a grin.

“You're welcome.”

Peridot headed back up to the cashwrap with a huffy laugh, leaving the loser to clean up their mess. She wore her buttplug horn as a token of her victory as she puttered around for a bit, eye on the clock to track just how much longer they had to work for the night.

She grunted softly as the clock ticked closer to closing time.

As it crept ever closer, she sighed. Nobody had come in for over an hour. She still had her horn. They were closing soon. At least she'd be heading home in a bit...

She hefted The Butt off of the counter and _squeaked_ as it dripped, then let out a string of curses.

“Yo, sup?” Amethyst called from where she was boredly laying on the floor behind a rounder, in one of the security camera blind spots. “What's wrong?”

“Butt's leaking,” Peridot groaned.

“Ew. Too much information, boo.”

“Not _my_ butt, ya clod, _The_ Butt.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Dry it then?”

Peridot rolled her eyes, already reaching for the roll of paper towels on the cashwrap.

“Got that, thanks.”

Drying The Butt was easier said than done. Peridot stuck one finger in the pussy hole and circled it around, reaching deep and able to feel wetness all the way in. She sighed, removed her finger, and repeated the process with the asshole. Same situation.

Peridot just _groaned_. Okay. Well. She was _glad_ the store was empty, now...

The paper towels went in the asshole first. She pressed it in in a wad, as deep as she could get, in short motions.

She pulled it out barely damp; as she reached her finger in, it was still as wet as when she'd started. She sighed. This was going to be harder than anticipated.

Probably not long enough. Or too thick? She squinted though her glasses at her small wad of paper towels thoughtfully.

Her next course of action was to grab another long paper towel and fold it in on itself some, twist it around, until she had a vaguely phallic bundle of brown paper.

She sighed. Okay. Time to finger a fake ass.

She pushed the paper towel shaft inside carefully, not wanting to cause any damage with the creases. She pressed it in as deep as it would go, steadying it with two fingers, and just... sighed deeply.

Peridot started moving in little staccato thrusts, just small turns for coverage, rocking her wrist to keep the pressure well enough to absorb all the moisture.

By the time she moved to the pussy, she was huffing softly, her face red, wrist moving in deep thrusts, seeking out every last bit of fluid inside the toy.

She was knuckles-deep in the pussy hole when the door beeped, and she looked up in shock.

...and locked eyes with Jasper.

There were a few agonizing moments between them as the two frozen figures regarded each other. Jasper, unprepared, unassuming, shock written on her features-

And Peridot, sweating, red-faced, knuckles-deep fucking a 25-pound silicone ass Peridot.

Her heart leaped into her throat. The green buttplug horn slipped and then dropped from her forehead to bounce and roll across the floor.

Jasper's eyes widened; her mouth opened and closed like she was trying to form coherent thought. Her face flushed.

Peridot was frozen, terrified, wanting to crawl up inside the silicone ass and just fucking die. It would be a better situation than the one she found herself faced with at this precise moment.

Jasper just. Turned around and walked back out the door.

That was it. Peridot was dead. Any slim chance she had with Jasper had just evaporated in those tense moments, thanks to 25 pounds of sculpted silicone.

She shook her head, and before she realized it, she was scrambling out the door.

“Jasper! Wait, come back--”

Jasper turned around, her flush even more obvious on the lighter patch of skin across her face.

She stopped, but she didn't make eye contact with Peridot. Peridot slowed to a stop a few steps away from Jasper and bent over a little, panting softly.

“I-I'm-- sorry you had to see that,” she murmured, straightening up and looking away, a deep flush on her face.

Jasper rubbed the back of her neck as if to dispel her own awkwardness.

“Do I want to know...?” she asked with a little sheepish grin.

Peridot sighed and relaxed, relief flooding her body.

“There is no way to explain it that isn't obscene. Just know that it was necessary. I don't finger fake asses for fun.”

She sneaked a glance at Jasper, who looked a bit overwhelmed. Summoning her courage, she stumbled forward a step.

“Hey, so... yesterday... were you really here for me?”

Jasper finally looked at her, surprise written on her features, and gave a silent, emphatic nod. Peridot felt a little flutter of heat go through her – not sexual; more like the sudden warmth of... _validation_ , really. She swallowed hard and kept going, riding the adrenaline rush that had sent her out the door after Jasper in the first place.

“Why-?” she asked, her voice strained. She still couldn't believe--

“You're cute,” Jasper mumbled after a little while, back to rubbing the back of her neck and looking away. “You're so—” and she grew quiet, frustration knitting her brow as she mumbled something under her breath. Peridot recognized it as Spanish, but before she could as her what she meant, Jasper started and switched back to English. “Earnest! That's it – you're earnest. You... y'know... you really seem to care about peoples' safety.”

Peridot flushed so bright she thought she might be glowing and looked away.

“W-wow, thanks--”

Jasper grunted a little with another affirmative nod.

“So I just thought, I thought, maybe-- I dunno. Is it creepy to have a customer give you their number?”

Peridot couldn't help herself as she let out a laugh.

“If you were a crusty old pervert, yeah. But my smoking hot hero?” She flashed Jasper an honest grin. “I couldn't believe it. Really, I thought it was a joke--”

Jasper's eyes widened and her flush deepened; Peridot thought they both must be dizzy from the rush of blood to their faces at this point.

“You... think I'm hot?”

“You don't?”

Jasper opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it and looked away, rubbing two fingers together absently.

“I...” she shook her head. “My ex was... not exactly-” she paused for a moment, mouthing something. “-forthcoming? With compliments.”

Peridot sighed and moved to lean on the railing next to her.

“Tell me about it. Whoever it was, fuck them. You're the hottest god damn woman I've seen in my life.”

Jasper made a soft almost _eep_ sound and started a little bot. Peridot liked her reaction to being complimented. A lot. It was-- cute, seeing the tall, gorgeous woman looking so vulnerable and genuine...”

“S-so, um...” Jasper was quiet for a bit. “I gave you my number, but-- uh, could I... have yours?” She looked at the cars passing on the road in front of them like she couldn't bear to see Peridot's expression.

Peridot could feel hear heart being in her fingertips as she held out her hand.

“Unlock your phone and give it to me,” she said before she lost her nerve. Jasper looked _hopeful_ as she produced a phone from her pocket and unlocked it with a few taps, then passed it over to Peridot.

Her tongue was dry and fat in her mouth as she entered her numbers and passed it back to Jasper.

“There. And, uh--” she looked around and flashed Jasper a sheepish grin. “Well, you know where to find me 35 hours a week.”

Jasper's face was bright and open as she looked at her phone and returned it to her pocket.

“Wow, uh-- thanks,” she said in a husky tone. “I didn't really-- I mean, I'd hoped you were into women, but I wasn't, uh, sure--”

“Jasper.” Peridot said with a goofy grin. “I cannot think clearly like 90% of the time you're in range. Even if I _wasn't_ a gigantic lesbian disaster, I'd make an exception for you.”

Jasper paused, then blinked dumbly, then flashed Peridot a goofy, lopsided grin of her own.

“Glad to see I have the power to make pretty girls question their sexuality,” she said with a huffy laugh.

Peridot gave Jasper a little nod.

“I've gotta get back to drying that toy,” she said almost ruefully. “It was... nice.”

“I'll be in touch,” Jasper said gruffly. Peridot nodded with a little affirmative grunt.

“Looking forward to it.”

Jasper climbed into a red pickup, a little beat up and dirty, and Peridot watched her drive off.

Before she headed back into the store, she stopped just outside of camera range and entered Jasper's number into her phone. This time, she saved it.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something unexpected happens, and things go rapidly downhill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 4.7k words im so sorry this got so long ksjhdgsdghd
> 
> (also, most of this chapter is an attempt at capturing how some of my panic attacks/dissociation feels, so if you're worried about that triggering something, be careful) (also it might not be very good at it because its hard to remember that sort of thing afterwards u feel)

Peridot hummed softly as she put away the new greeting cards. She hadn’t called Jasper yet -- it had only been two days; she didn’t want to seem desperate -- but she was still riding on the high. The hottest woman she’d ever seen liked  _ her _ of all people--!

She grinned as she flipped through the cards, then laughed a little.

“So we have penis cards… and we have boob cards… and we have butt cards… but no vagina cards.”

Amethyst looked up from where she was sorting through a box of stock behind the counter.

“Maybe they think it’s too, like, I dunno, dirty?”

“...there are people literally having sex on at least half of these cards,” Peridot said, raising one of the cards in question.

“Sexism,” Amethyst said, shaking her head. “Shame. I’d love to give Pearl a pussy card for her birthday.”

“Why not just give her the pussy instead?” Peridot snorted.

“You’re fuckin’ brilliant, Peri,” Amethyst said with a laugh. Peridot didn’t know if Amethyst was being serious or sarcastic -- she did have a bit of trouble with that sometimes -- but she didn’t mind too much.

“Ooh, new porn--!” Amethyst said as she raised a handful of DVDs. “Let’s see what we’ve got--”

Peridot snickered as Amethyst started naming pornos. They were always the highlight of stock days -- porn was  _ utterly fucking ridiculous _ .

“‘The Adventures of Captain Cock and Super Snatch,’ the newest in the MCU -- the Massive Cumslut Universe.”

Perido snorted. Amethyst set it aside.

“Ooh, ‘Gee Your Tits Taste Terrific 2.’ Sounds like my kind of party.”

Peridot scooted closer, cards temporarily forgotten, even the one in her hand.

“Oh shit, I love the ones based on movies--” Amethyst continued as she sorted through the DVDs one by one. “‘Cum Dog Millionaire,’ ‘Jurassic Ass,’ that one didn’t even try-- ‘The Bang Theory-’ actually a sitcom, but it gets a pass-- ‘There Will Be Cum,’ good, I hate it when porn promises things and never follows through… ‘The Maddams Family…’ ‘The Rocki Whore Picture Show…’ ‘Rezervoir Doggs,’ ‘The Bangover,’ ooh- ‘Legally Boned,’ I’d watch that if it actually had Reese Witherspoon in it--”

“Mood,” Peridot said with a snort. She returned to the cards as Amethyst continued with the DVDs. She paused at one of the cards and laughed.

“Look at this, Ams. ‘Life Begins at 50.’ The afterlife, maybe--”

Amethyst let out a loud ‘Ha!’ and lifted another DVD.

“Look. Check this shit out. ‘CumFart CockTails 9.’ Oh my god. There are at least nine of these. What the fuck.”

“What the  _ fuck _ ,” Peridot agreed, laughing.

They continued with stock, laughing and joking as the stacks of boxes dwindled down and the sun started to set. A customer would come in here and there, wander around a bit… they took turns seeing to them, leaving the other to their work.

About an hour before close, they broke down the last box and Peridot leaned against the counter with a sigh. There were three people in the store, a young marine and a couple in their- probably early thirties? It was quiet, and Peridot straightened up after a moment to go check on the couple while Amethyst took the marine. She was always better with solo men; Peridot still had trouble stumbling over pocket pussies occasionally, with the way some men just Felt Wrong.

Peridot was chatting the pair up, showing off the versatility of one of their cock rings, when the door beeped. Peridot turned to greet whoever it was, and the words died on her lips in confusion.

It was a man -- young, white, kind of grimy looking, in rumpled clothes, and he was going  _ something _ to the door.

She realized a split second later that he was trying to  _ lock _ the door- that something must be chasing him--

And then the store devolved into utter chaos.

She stepped forward to see what was going on- then a pair of cops came streaming by and slammed into the door- yanked it open- the man turned and ran, knocking into everything in his way, dragging things down behind him, running towards her- towards  _ her-- _

She shrieked and stumbled backwards. Hit the floor. Closed her eyes and waited for the impact, to be grabbed, to be dragged--

Only to hear a feral yell and the meaty  _ thud _ of someone hitting the ground. When she opened her eyes, Amethyst was sitting on top of the guy, wrestling him down with a wild look in her eyes and a shit-eating grin plastered across her face while the confused cops pulled up short, then took over.

The tone of one of their voices meant he was- thanking her? Maybe? There was a scuffle and Peridot shrieked again and curled into a ball, fingers buried in her hair painfully, but nothing came of it. She heard talking over a radio, and when she opened her eyes, one of the cops was on the now-handcuffed intruder instead of Amethyst.

Everything was- fuzzy and muffled; the lights were too bright, and she sank into panic, breathing too quickly, squeaking softly, and tears started rolling, unbidden, down her cheeks. He was- he had gone after her- hadn’t he? Was he really handcuffed? Was she really safe? Fuck--

Her mind was just a thorny snarl of screaming and expletives and what-ifs, drowning out everything around her. She covered her ears and drew in tighter, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking like a tester toy dropped on the floor.

She jumped and yelped at the feel of a soft hand on her shoulder, and it took a few quick breaths for her to realize that the touch and the low, steady voice was Amethyst. She whimpered, her lower lip quivering, and shivered under Amethyst’s hand. Amethyst’s words were a slurry of incomprehensible syllables as she tried to focus through her tears.

A cop stepped towards her and she yelped and curled up again; Amethyst’s calm voice turned snappy and changed direction.

She tried to tell herself she was safe, she was fine, the guy wasn’t going to hurt her, but the flood of what  _ could _ have happened and the silence screaming in her ears was just too loud.

Amethyst’s voice came back, still muddled and hard to understand, but Amethyst worked one of her hands free and started pressing her thumbs into Peridot’s palm in little massaging motions, the low hum of her voice constant and grounding.

The first word that she could actually  _ understand _ properly was “motherfucker.” Then she heard more here and there -- “safe,” “cuffed,” “gonna” -- sounds closed into words bit by bit until she could hear a full sentence.

“Peri, you’re gonna be fine, okay? He’s gone.”

And he was. She blinked aside tears and saw properly for the first time in- fuck, how long had she been--

She tried to mumble something, but her brain couldn’t connect the thoughts to sounds just yet.

“Hey, shh, give it a bit. I’ll be right back, ‘kay? Don’t be afraid. It’s just gonna be a few seconds. You gonna be okay on your own for a few seconds?”

The words took a breath or two to sink in, but she nodded shakily.

“Good,” Amethyst grunted, and then she was gone. Fear gripped Peridot’s chest for a moment, but then Amethyst returned, pressing a bottle of water into her hand.

“Here, take a sip,” Amethyst ordered. Peridot realized, then, just how  _ dry _ her mouth had gotten, and she greedily guzzled the cold water.

Amethyst gave her a few seconds to drink and Peridot sighed when she lowered the bottle.

“You think you can talk now?” Amethyst asked. Peridot curled her tongue around the words before she could speak.

“Think so…”

Amethyst sighed and patted Peridot’s still-shivering shoulder.

“Thank fuck. Had me worried there. Haven’t seen ya that bad in ages.”

“S-sorry,” Peridot murmured. Amethyst shook her head.

“Stow it, squeaky. Not your fault. Think you’ll be able to write a statement for the LEOs?”

Peridot’s brow furrowed as she considered what it would entail, worrying her lower lip, her breathing quickening again--

Amethyst’s hand fell heavily on her shoulder before she could get too worked up.

“Okay, how ‘bout you tell me what you wanna say, and I write it down?”

Peridot paused. Though. Shivered. The exhaustion was setting in, now, and the adrenaline-triggered nausea. She licked her lips and nodded.

By the time Amethyst had finished writing down Peridot’s statement, the store was closed. Peridot hadn’t moved from where she’d been curled into a ball on the floor, but she’d finished her bottle of water and was, at least, breathing properly again.

“Shit--” Amethyst muttered. “I gotta- call Holly. Shit. Shit.”

Peridot let out a frightened squeak at the thought of dealing with their manager in her current state.

Amethyst rested a hand on Peridot’s shoulder, pressing down some, and it helped to calm her.

“Shh. ‘Sokay. I’ll get you home first-  _ fuck. _ ” Amethyst grunted, frustrated. “P’s out of town and I gotta clean up- fuck, and I’m not letting you  _ drive _ like this--”

Peridot whimpered. Outside of Amethyst, and to a lesser extent Pearl, she had nobody in the city. Her family was all the way in the fucking desert, and she hadn’t spoken to them in years, anyhow--

Amethyst snapped her fingers.

“Hot customer! You got Jasper’s number, yeah?”

“Yeah…?” Peridot asked, confused for a moment. Then she realized what Amethyst had in mind. “N-no way. I can’t- the first time we- this is the  _ worst _ option for a first date--!!”

Amethyst waved her hand.

“She’s seen you hiding behind lube once already. She knows you’re a mess. Besides, she’s built like a brick shithouse. You’ll be safe with her.”

Peridot made a pathetic nasal sound before collapsing in on herself, defeated. She didn’t really have any other options.

“Okay…”

“Gimme your phone,” Amethyst held out her hand, motioning for the cell phone. Peridot handed it over and Amethyst unlocked it herself and started fiddling with it before holding it to her ear. It took a bit for Jasper to pick up, and all Peridot could hear was what sounded like a surprised voice before Amethyst started talking.

“Jasper?” A pause. “Nah--” Peridot was pretty sure Amethyst apologized, but she launched into Spanish and Peridot just groaned softly. One of these days she needed to learn Spanish.

The sound of a language she did not speak fell to a low buzz in the background as she tiredly sank back into herself. Panic was exhausting, and the thought of going home to her tiny efficiency apartment on her own was  _ terrifying _ . As anxious as she was about Jasper taking her home, though-- well, fuck, it would be welcome. She didn’t want to be alone and didn’t want to turn off the lights--

“Oi,  _ chica _ , she’ll be here in like five minutes.”

“Holy shit?”

“Yeah, apparently she don’t live far. Can you walk?”

Peridot made a  _ mmn _ sound, and while she considered, Amethyst offered her hand.

“C’mon, I’ll help you up.”

Peridot groaned and her muscles protested as Amethyst pulled her upright, but once she was up, she was able to dazedly stumble her way to the back of the store to clock out.

True to her word, Jasper arrived in roughly five minutes, and looked around the store in shock when she walked in.

“Holy  _ shit, _ ” she murmured.

“And guess who gets to clean it up?” Amethyst asked.

“S-sorry,” Peridot mumbled. Amethyst shrugged.

“No prob, dude. As long as I’m getting paid, I don’t give a fuck. Now, Jasper--” Amethyst walked over to her and offered a post-it note. “Here’s her address. She shouldn’t have a problem with the key or anything, I just don’t want her driving. And… thanks. Thanks for doing this.”

Jasper took the paper, flushed and bashful.

“I-it’s, uh- it’s no problem, really--”

Peridot walked to Jasper’s truck, still shivering a bit despite the heat, and settled into the passenger seat. She stared at the floorboards as Jasper entered her address into her phone’s GPS, and didn’t speak until they were on the road.

“...I’m sorry,” she mumbled. Jasper glanced over at her, clearly confused, even to Peridot’s still-dulled senses.

“For what? Amethyst told me what happened. Not your fault you freaked out.”

“I just- I haven’t called you yet, and- then this--” Peridot pulled her legs up onto the seat with her and leaned into the door with a sigh. “Just sucks for a first date.”

Jasper flushed a little, then grinned.

“This a date, then? I’ll take it.”

Peridot made a soft squeaking sound and turned red.

“I mean- I just--” she lowered her voice, almost a little pouty. “Just wish I’d called sooner, is all. So we coulda had a  _ real _ date first.”

Jasper glanced over at her as she turned at a light.

“I mean, we could fix that… when’s your next day off?”

Peridot squeaked again and almost forgot to answer in her surprise.

“Ah- tomorrow, actually.”

Jasper grinned, her gaze back on the road.

“Great. So we’ll have a proper date tomorrow. Lunch? Dinner? I’ll buy.”

Peridot couldn’t even reply for a few long seconds. As Jasper made another turn, she jumped a little, like she’d just remembered how to speak.

“Y-yeah! Yeah, I’d like that. What, uh- sort of food do you like?”

“There’s a place on the edge of town that makes the best damn hotdogs in the county. How’s that sound?”

“I… yeah,” Peridot said with a little tired smile. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Jasper let her fall silent for the rest of the ride, the only sound between them the rumble of the truck’s engine and the low murmur of Jasper’s radio, broken occasionally by the GPS telling them where to turn.

They pulled up in front of Peridot’s apartment, and as soon as Peridot saw the porch lights off and the dark walk to her door, she started shaking again, violently. It wasn’t safe-  _ she _ wasn’t safe-- she couldn’t even make it to her door like this, with the way her limbs were shaking, her heart beating in her throat.

This was ridiculous- a small voice in the back of her mind  _ knew _ she was being ridiculous- but fear gripped her body with an icy claw, and she couldn’t even speak with the way it constricted her airway, throttling the breath right out of her.

Her world grew fuzzy and dark around the edges, and the only sound she could hear was the beating of her heart pounding in her ears, loud and quick and rhythmic.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she flinched away, looking over at the source. Oh--

Jasper’s hand lifted immediately, and instead of the woman looking insulted or irritated, it seemed to Peridot’s dazed and frightened mind that there was  _ understanding _ in her amber eyes.

Jasper said something, her voice low and gruff, and it took a moment for the words to filter into her dazed brain.

“You with me, Peridot?” were the words Jasper had rumbled. Peridot- paused, rolling words around in her mouth, before just nodding. She saw Jasper sigh and her shoulders relax. “Thank fuck. Can you speak right now?” Jasper’s voice was still low, rumbly, soothing, and Peridot opened her mouth to reply, but all that came out was a strangled little squeak. Peridot closed her mouth and shook her head.

Jasper didn’t seem at all surprised or put out; in face, her expression was soft with understanding and calm.

“Do you need to wait a little while?” Jasper asked. Peridot thought, then nodded. “You can sit here as long as you need,” she said, then cut the engine. “Are you afraid because it’s dark?”

Peridot looked up at the walkway to the porch and the dark lights on each of the three doors to the apartments. She shivered even more violently and nodded, still having trouble sorting out words. The shaking of her body had jumbled them all up; what words she could even catch were all in the wrong order.

Jasper was quiet as she looked at the lightless porch, then gave a little  _ huh _ and settled back into her seat.

“You gonna be okay on your own? She asked after a moment. Peridot made a hiccuping sound at the question, growing dizzy and sick at the thought of facing her tiny apartment all by herself. She shook her head violently and Jasper nodded in understanding.

“I can stay if you need me to,” she said, her voice soft. Peridot was too anxious to even be embarrassed as she nodded. The thought of being alone and vulnerable after all this-- Jasper may be a stranger, but she felt  _ safe _ . Safer than being alone.

Peridot knew she was being ridiculous. Knew it in her bones and her belly. But the logic and embarrassment took a back seat to the driving terror that controlled her mind and body, and now more than anything, she just wanted to press up against Jasper and let the woman’s solid warmth flow into her, calming, the unfamiliarity ignored in her solace.

“Think you can walk?” Jasper’s voice broke through her thoughts. She swallowed hard and sighed, trying to see if her muscles would obey, and then she nodded again and lowered her feet to the floorboards, unbuckling her seatbelt.

Jasper was out of the truck swiftly, and by the time Peridot had summoned the strength to open her door, Jasper was there to help her down. Her surprise and confusion must have been written on her face, because Jasper looked sheepish and gave a breathy little  _ heh _ , rubbing the back of her neck once Peridot was down and the door was shut.

“I recognize a panic attack when I see one,” she said in a low, rumbly voice. “I know how hard it can be to speak. You’re safe with me.”

Peridot made a little squeaky sound in her throat and blushed as Jasper offered her hand. She took it, though, and followed Jasper to the steps to the door she indicated as her own.

Once the door was unlocked, Peridot paused. Her apartment- it wasn’t… much. What if Jasper thought less of her because of just how-  _ small _ a space she lived in-- she couldn’t afford on-campus living--

She bit her tongue, though, and opened the door, pausing at the dark room and looking at Jasper to reassure herself that she’d be safe.

The light illuminated her little one-room efficiency, from the twin bed with too many pillows to the tatty forest-green loveseat to the two-burner stove and barely-stocked wire-rack pantry. She looked over at Jasper, who tilted her head to indicate that Peridot was okay to go in, and then took a deep breath.

Jasper followed her inside and she turned to look at Jasper’s reactions. She seemed utterly unconcerned with her new surroundings, looking instead at Peridot after she closed the door.

“You think you’re gonna be okay now?” Jasper asked. Peridot looked around her familiar apartment. “You’re safe with me,” Jasper murmured. “If you want to change into pajamas or something, I’ll look away.”

Peridot- started a bit, then nodded. Jasper turned away dutifully and Peridot went about changing into an undershirt and boxers, her usual pajamas in the muggy summer air. She had a thermostat and air conditioning, but it was much cheaper to just dress light and run a box fan.

She deposited her clothes on the single chair next to the table her laptop was on and made a soft  _ huh _ sound as she considered if she was ready to talk.

“...’m good,” she croaked, then sighed in relief. It seemed like Jasper, too, sighed as she turned around. Jasper took in her “pajamas” and grinned.

“Cute.”

Peridot turned bright ride and looked away, sort of shakily indicating the loveseat.

“I-if you, uh- if you really wanna stay the night, that’s- about all I’ve got, unless you want the bed…”

Peridot would give up her bed, if need be. She just really, really didn’t want to. Jasper shook her head with a sheepish grin.

“Nah, couch is okay.” She moved over and settled down into it with a groan and a sigh. “I’ve slept worse.”

Peridot huffed a breath of laughter at that, but after a moment she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other, glancing from her bed to Jasper on the loveseat. She wanted desperately to feel Jasper’s sturdy bulk against her, fighting away the last dregs of anxiety--

Jasper’s brow furrowed as she looked at Peridot, confusion evident on her features.

“Something wrong?”

Peridot let out a little  _ eep _ and jumped, but after a moment she gathered what she could of her courage--”

“Can we, um- can we-” she paused and shifted and looked away, face red. Jasper still seemed confused when she sneaked a glance, waiting for her to finish her request before she just made a surprised sound, eyebrows raising.

“Hey, you wanna sit next to me a bit? Calm you down some so you can sleep.”

Peridot flushed and nodded so hard and fast she was one motion away from her head taking off into the stratosphere. Jasper scooted over a bit and patted the cushion next to her. Peridot obeyed the wordless request and scrambled up onto the loveseat, pulling her knees up into a ball and leaning against the arm of the chair.

She mumbled her thanks all low and sheepish, stealing at glance over at Jasper. Jasper shrugged and flashed a cute, lopsided grin.

“It’s fine. Like I said, I know my way around a panic attack. I’m here to help.”

Peridot made a little squeaky sound and nudged just a bit closer to Jasper. Despite the heat in her room, Jasper’s warmth was tempting--

“You ever considered signing when you can’t talk?” Jasper asked. Peridot furrowed her brow.

“Wait, like- ASL?”

Jasper nodded.

“That’s why I learned it. Useless if nobody else knows it, but sometimes you get lucky…”

Peridot squinted.

“Wait… you go nonverbal?”

Jasper looked away and shrugged, then another grin spread across her face, her expression smug.

“I know you wanna cuddle,” she said. Peridot made a little squeaky sound in shock. Jasper just waved Peridot over. “C’mon. But only if you really want to.”

Peridot paused. Nudged ever-so-slightly closer. Before she quite realized it, she was curled up against Jasper’s warm bulk, head resting on her shoulder with a sigh. She felt Jasper relax against her and rest a heavy hand on her hip, thumb rubbing absently.

They were quiet; there was no real sound in the room but their breathing and, Peridot was certain, the pounding of her heart. She could hear Jasper’s heartbeat, too, and her long, slow breaths. She tried to match Jasper’s breaths and let her anxiety drain away. The abject terror from the episode at work ebbed away bit by bit, but was replaced by anxiety about having Jasper this close, in her apartment, so soon after even meeting her--

The fear of being  _ judged _ made her shiver. She wasn’t afraid of Jasper’s physicality; she felt no malice in Jasper’s actions. But she wanted so, so badly for Jasper to  _ like _ her, and then to see her like this- what an impression--

Jasper’s idle rubbing turned a bit more pointed, her whole hand just barely moving against Peridot’s hip instead of just her thumb. Peridot looked up at her with a little  _ mh-? _ Of confusion. Jasper flushed and looked away.

“You were tensing up.”

Peridot turned red and mumbled something about Jasper thinking she was weird. Jasper let out a bark of hearty laughter.

“Really? That’s what you’re worried about? You’re so damn cute, god-- no, I don’t think you’re weird. I’m enjoying this, honestly…”

Peridot made a little confused sound and looked away, face hot and heart beating in her throat so hard she was starting to feel dizzy.

“Um- thank you- again,” she murmured. Jasper just gave a little shrug.

“Happy to help. Not the first date I was hoping for, but I guess if we go to breakfast tomorrow it’ll count as the same date, right? Since I’m spendin’ the night and all.”

Peridot snorted and rubbed her forehead against Jasper, a dumb grin on her face.

It was quiet again. Peridot thought it might have been awkward, but she was still jittery from her panic and exhausted after the adrenaline and emotional rush. She didn’t mind the silence so much.

She did find herself looking up at Jasper, who had settled back and closed her eyes, looking peaceful instead of intense. Peridot blushed as her gaze fell on Jasper’s full lips, and she made a soft sound as she realized just how badly she wanted to find out how they felt.

Jasper opened an eye and raised an eyebrow at the sound, and Peridot made another soft surprised sound and looked away. She could feel the soft, huffy laughter in Jasper’s chest and belly and her face burned. She didn’t want to be so  _ forward- _ didn’t want to seem even  _ more _ desperate after tonight--

But god, did Jasper ever look good. Feel good. Hell,  _ smell _ good, an earthy, deep scent that reminded Peridot of the desert after a rainstorm. It was overwhelming, and after her ordeal, she just felt-- she wasn’t sure.

She had to kiss Jasper. She’d decided. She couldn’t stand the thought of  _ not _ feeling those lips on her, hell,  _ needed _ to feel them, needed the reassurance that Jasper really did find her  _ attractive _ , didn’t think this was weird--

Maybe it was the last drips of adrenaline that did it. Maybe it was how being so comfortable against Jasper had turned off what little inhibitions that her breakdown hadn’t already destroyed. She might as well, right--?

Her movements were slow but purposeful, pushing herself enough to reach Jasper’s head and turning to face her. Jasper seemed surprised and she made a soft sound of confusion, but after a moment, they were looking eye-to-eye, faces flushed and breath quickening.

Peridot looked at Jasper’s lips; when she flicked her gaze briefly up to her eyes, Jasper was looking at hers--

She licked her lips, wetting them and adding a sheen in the low light.

Then she summoned her courage and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Jasper’s lips.

She was warm and soft; Peridot was expecting Jasper’s lips to be rough, like the rest of her, but they just felt so  _ good _ against her own, for the breath of two she left them stay there.

Peridot backed up to break the kiss and they both looked aside, flushed and panting just the slightest bit.

Then their lips were against each other again, faster, harder, breathing the same breaths in a dizzying haze. Peridot found herself climbing on top of Jasper, straddling her hips and leaning into the hungry kiss, wanting so much to drown her anxiety in Jasper’s body--

Her kisses moved from Jasper’s lips to the curve of her jaw, down her neck, and as Peridot sucked little bruises onto her skin, Jasper moaned and shifted beneath her, her grip on Peridot’s hips tightening--

And then Jasper pulled her away, blushing and panting, and Peridot made a little distressed noise before looking away.

“S-sorry-!!” she whimpered.

“N-no, I- I want to,” Jasper said, her voice thick and husky. “I just- fuck, I- I know you’re still messed up from before, y’know? I don’t… want you regretting this tomorrow.”

Peridot made a soft little dismayed sound.

“But- how  _ could _ I…” she murmured. But in the pit of her stomach, she knew Jasper was right.

Jasper leaned in to press a chaste kiss to Peridot’s lips, then pulled back, flushed and still panting lightly.

“Tell ya what… if you still wanna do it when you wake up, I’d love to. But for now… get some sleep, okay?”

Peridot let out a soft sigh and nodded.

“Um…” she looked away, her voice low. “Thank you.”

Jasper shrugged.

“D’you, uh-” Peridot looked over at her twin bed, stacked with pillows and pressed against the corner of the room. “Y’think we’ll both fit on the bed…?”

Jasper looked over at the bed and then gave a little huffy laugh.

“We can make it work.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, walk of shame not included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do these chapters keep getting longer ANYHOW I LOVE YALL ENJOY XOXO if you like this gay ass shit hit me up on tumblr as malafight and we can talk about another shipment

Peridot woke up with her face pressed against Jasper’s tits.

That was not a complaint.

She made a soft, confused mumbling sound at first, her sleepy mind trying to work out why her bed felt so weird and extra-warm, before it sank in properly and her eyes snapped completely open.

Peridot was partly against Jasper and partly on top of her, the both of them arranged in an incomprehensible, tangled knot of legs and arms. They were both still clothed, but Peridot had at least removed her glasses. She was pretty sure they’d started out with Peridot nestled between Jasper and her massive amount of pillows, and somehow Jasper had scooted in and Peridot had tried to climb her.

Also, Jasper snored. Peridot knew this because it was the first thing she noticed after the presence of blurry breasts filling her range of vision.

She had to admit… even with Jasper’s raucous snoring, this was… comfortable. She smiled a sleepy little smile and soft of- idly nuzzled against Jasper.

Then she stopped and her eyes flew open again, face flushed as she tensed up at the memory of last night -- at the memory of trying to fuck Jasper in her adrenaline-fueled, panic-induced state. What did Jasper think of her  _ now-- _

Jasper’s snoring turned into a snort and some snuffling, and Peridot tensed up even more, looking up at Jasper’s blurry face in trepidation, her voice small as she murmured  _ “Jasper?” _ in a thick, sleepy voice.

Amber eyes flew open and Peridot could feel Jasper tensing against her, then she found herself being jostled, shoved, Jasper beneath and against her struggling and cursing. Peridot’s sleep-fuzzed brain didn’t know what to do, so she just- held on, making little distressed sounds at the motions.

She found herself shoved against the wall with a roar ripping from Jasper’s chest, the woman’s face inches from hers and her hand drawn back to punch.

Peridot squeaked and cringed, covering her face in fear and preparing to be  _ hit-- _

Only to feel the arm holding her against the wall relaxing, and Jasper’s animalistic growls turning into panting breaths.

“Shit- fuck- I’m so sorry, Peri- fuck--”

She parted two fingers to peek out at Jasper, trembling a little. Then--

“What the  _ fuck _ was that?!”

Jasper’s apology had shifted her from fear to an anxious confusion and she relaxed even more, lowering her hands with a sigh.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry- I shoulda, fuck, I shoulda thought--”

Peridot pushed herself up some and leaned towards Jasper, squinting to try to make out her face better. She sounded distressed, but she couldn’t see  _ details  _ without her glasses, and she’d never been very good with vocal tones--

Jasper leaned back some -- not far; she didn’t have much room to on the tiny bed -- and reached up to the window ledge to retrieve Peridot’s glasses. Once Peridot put them on, she could see Jasper’s face properly, and her dark skin was unusually pale.

“You okay…?” Jasper asked, her voice low. Peridot wasn’t so great with expressions, either, but even  _ she _ could see that Jasper was upset- and worried--

She nodded, not sure if she trusted herself to speak just yet.

“Fuck, I am  _ so sorry-- _ ” Jasper said. Peridot could see her gaze flicking across her face like she was trying to read  _ her _ expression in bits and pieces. Peridot furrowed her brow.

“What was that? Bad dream?”

Jasper sort of started a bit before looking away, her shoulders drooping as she shook her head.

“No, I uh-- sometimes--” She sighed, still not making eye contact. “Sometimes if I get woke up by somethin’ besides sunlight or music I get- uh--” Jasper shifted and raised a hand to rub the back of her neck. “I forget I’m safe.”

Peridot leaned back a little, confused.

“Safe?”

Jasper nodded.

“I, uh… I’ve… seen some shit. That’s all.”

Peridot’s brows furrowed and she leaned back in some, curiosity demanding details despite the way she was  _ pretty _ sure Jasper didn’t want to provide them.

“What sort of shit?”

Jasper flinched and shook her head.

“Nothin’ you should concern y’self with.” Her voice was low and tinged with remorse. “I’ll just… try to do better next time. How do you feel about breakfast?”

Peridot wrinkled her nose at the denial, but at the mention of  _ breakfast _ , her stomach growled. She let out a snort of laughter.

“Well-- I guess that says it all, doesn’t it?”

Jasper laughed lightly herself, color returning to her cheeks.

“Yeah, let’s… go grab some food, then. Get dressed?”

Jasper slid off the bed and Peridot followed with a sigh, but when she looked up to see an expression of confusion plastered across Jasper’s face, she stopped. Jasper pointed behind her.

“What is it…?” she asked warily.

“What’s that?” Jasper answered.

Peridot turned to see what Jasper was pointing at and made a choked squeaking sound as she scrambled to re-cover the body pillow that their sleeping and scuffle had worked out of her pile.

“N-nothing!!”

Jasper raised an eyebrow as Peridot tried in vain to cover the lewd picture on it.

“Doesn’t look like nothing. Looks like a dick.”

Peridot sighed and deflated.

“It’s… Pierre… from Camp Pining Hearts… as a catboy.”

“And naked.”

“And naked.”

“Any particular reason why?”

Peridot turned red and looked away.

“I just… like him.”

Jasper shrugged.

“Fair enough. You change, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

Jasper was done before Peridot had quite finished dressing; she walked out of the bathroom talking, but froze at the sight of Peridot shirtless.

“Your bathroom is _ tiny _ ; I could barely get past the- oh--” Jasper blushed and turned rapidly “S-sorry--”

Peridot looked up with a  _ mnh? _ Before turned red and turning away herself, scrambling to get her shirt on.

“N-no, it’s- uh, it’s fine, really--”

There was a bit of an awkward silence for a few seconds as Peridot tugged her shirt on properly, but then she was turning back towards Jasper.

“I, uh- ‘m decent,” she said, tilting her head to one side. Jasper turned to look at her with a goofy-looking lopsided grin.

“Great! What d’you want for breakfast?”

Peridot considered; she didn’t have the money for anything extravagant, and it would look bad for her to make sure Jasper was paying, right? Dating was hard. This  _ was _ dating, right? She was pretty sure this was a date.

“Uh, Iunno. Waffle House?”

“Done. I’ll take you back to your car after we eat, then.”

Jasper seemed utterly unperturbed by her advances last night… and she hadn’t mentioned them at all this morning. Did that mean she wasn’t interested after all? Was she hoping Peridot had just forgotten?

Peridot locked the door behind them and followed Jasper to her truck silently, mind moving a mile a minute.

Had she even really come on to Jasper? Sometimes, after a panic attack, reality got fuzzy like that -- maybe she hadn’t? But she  _ definitely _ remembered the feel of Jasper’s lips against hers, the way their bodies felt pressed together- and she certainly remembered  _ wanting _ to--

She made a soft strangled sound. This was going to eat at her--

“Mh?” Jasper stopped with the driver’s-side door open, and Peridot squeaked and rushed over to the passenger’s side.

Once they were seated and on the road, Peridot started sneaking glances over at Jasper as she drove. There was a set to her jaw and a sort of aimless seriousness that spoke of someone who had been driving this exact vehicle for years. But then, as battered as it looked on the outside, that wasn’t surprising.

When she caught Jasper glancing over at  _ her _ , she squeaked and looked away, freckled face flushed bright.

“You’re quiet,” was all Jasper had to say. Peridot nodded with little nervous, jerky motions.

“Y-yeah, sorry, I just- dunno… what to say. I mean, not even one date, and we’ve already slept together.” Peridot flashed her what she hoped was a confident grin and Jasper let out a bark of laughter.

“Guess we did, didn’t we?”

Peridot nodded with a little nasal sound and returned her thoughtful gaze to the road in front of them, quiet again.

She sighed, then glanced over at Jasper again like she was afraid she’d caught the sound. Fuck, Jasper was- fucking hot, and- goofily awkward, almost? She’d expected someone as attractive as Jasper would know it, and be confident and self-assured, but… Jasper seemed just as bad at social situations as Peridot was--

Except for last night. Jasper had stopped her with such honest conviction- fuck, did that mean it  _ hasn’t _ happened after all? It would save her the embarrassment if Jasper  _ didn’t _ find out how desperate and fucking  _ thirsty _ she’d gotten, but--

On some level, she  _ wanted _ Jasper to have turned her down like that? Fuck, she was crazy, wasn’t she. She wanted to have embarrassed herself last night, because that meant they might have a  _ proper _ first time -- and fuck, it meant that Jasper was aware enough to notice she might not have been all together…

Jasper heaved a deep sigh and Peridot looked over with a startled sound, her heartbeat in her throat. Someone else sighing never meant anything good--

“Hey, uh--” Jasper started, glancing at her and then back to the road.

“Is something wrong? I didn’t do anything bad, did I--” Peridot started to babble, but Jasper jumped a bit.

“No! God, no. I was just- uh--” Jasper fell silent for a moment, glancing between Peridot and the road a couple of times and worrying her (gloriously plump) lower lip. Peridot blushed, the movement drawing attention to Jasper’s mouth and sending a little ripple of heat through her.

Jasper shook her head and sighed again.

“Listen, I’m just- I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier if you wanted to… you know… finish what we started last night.” Her cheeks were adorably flushed, Peridot decided, and did- Jasper mean the making out? The promise she’d follow through, if Peridot still wanted to in the morning? “I just… thought I killed the mood. Sorry.”

Peridot flushed and shook her head.

“No! No no, don’t- uh, fuck, it’s okay!”

“So it was just the adrenaline talking last night after all?” she said quietly, her voice low, and even Peridot could read her tone this time: she sounded disappointed.

“No.” Peridot said with conviction. “Thank you for looking out for me, but honestly I’d take any opportunity to get you into bed. I’m just glad that I won’t be wondering if we  _ actually _ fucked or if I had dreamed it up mid-dissociation.”

Jasper let out a bark of laughter.

“At least you’re honest.”

“I am physically incapable of lying. I don’t even have an actual tell, it’s just that obvious. I try to lie and Truth herself comes out of her well and beats me with a stick, so I just don’t. No sense in pissing someone off on top of giving them bad news.”

Jasper was grinning as she shook her head. Peridot was bright red, and she couldn’t help but grin herself as she looked away.

“I know it’s, uh-” Jasper paused and looked over at Peridot, brows furrowed, then back at the road to mumble something incomprehensible. For a moment, Peridot was confused, wondering what thought Jasper had forgotten to finish, before jasper made an exasperated, confused sound. “Fuck, I forgot the word in English. Okay, whatever -- I don’t want you to think I don’t want to fuck you. Like, god damn, do I want to. I just…” Jasper shook her head. “I want to make sure you want to, and I’m not, uh-” another pause, another mumbly, confused murmur. “Ugh, why is it so much harder to remember words when I’m talkin’ heavy shit. Fuck. I just- don’t, uh- don’t think you  _ have _ to? Like, if you don’t--”

“Oh, I fucking want to,” Peridot breathed. “ _ Boy _ do I want to.”

Jasper made a little surprised sound and flushed. Peridot could see her pointedly looking at the road, like she was afraid to look at Peridot instead.

“Sorry, I uh- just- I’m not… used to people actually…  _ wanting _ to.”

“But…” Peridot tilted her head to one side. “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous?”

Jasper laughed, a soft huffy sound that, to Peridot, seemed almost… rueful?

“I’m over six feet tall and very, uh…” Jasper glanced down at herself; Peridot thought she might be assessing her chubby belly and gorgeous thick thighs. “...big. Anyone not immediately intimidated tends to think I’m a guy in drag.”

Peridot wrinkled her nose.

“Dick or not, you’re a woman, yeah?”

Jasper nodded.

“I’m, uh- yeah. I’ve had a vag since I was born, for all the fuckin’ good the damn thing does.”

Peridot shrugged.

“Amethyst’s a dude sometimes and her and her girlfriend are both drag kings, so being trans wouldn’t be a dealbreaker anyhow. I’d still want you to crush my head between your thighs. I don’t give a fuck.”

Jasper laughed at that.

“That seems like a bit much…”

“Have you  _ seen _ your thighs, though?”

Jasper just laughed again.

“Thanks for the ego boost.”

“Your turn,” Peridot said with a little snicker. “Say something nice to  _ me _ .”

She was a little caught up in the conversation, yes. Too caught up to bite her tongue and worry about how she came across.

Luckily, Jasper seemed to enjoy it, a grin crossing her face as she glanced over at Peridot.

“Your tits would fit well in my hand and your ass is to die for.”

“If you hadn’t stopped me last night, you’d have been able to touch them,” Peridot taunted with a grin, before Realizing and making a little hiccuping sound. “Oh- uh, shit.”

Now she was thinking about Jasper’s huge, warm hands covering her breasts, squeezing her ass -- well, shit. That had been a Mistake. She didn’t need to be getting horny before breakfast.

Jasper snorted, grinning like she was trying not to laugh.

“Well, I’ll just have to find a good time to-”

“Ravish me?” Peridot asked hopefully, all flushed. Jasper made a choked sound and started laughing again.

“Well, when you put it that way… Can we eat breakfast first, though? We’ll need the energy.”

Peridot found herself flushing so deeply she thought every drop of blood in her body was either in her face or her crotch, amazed at just how  _ easily _ Jasper had agreed to that--

She nodded with a little squeak, and when Jasper looked over at her, she could see her blushing as well. Part of her wondered if Jasper’s confidence was just as false as her own -- though God fucking knows, Jasper made her forget her own good sense, apparently--

The last few moments before they made it to the Waffle House were spent in what Peridot could only think of as expectant silence, the both of them waiting for the other to continue their flirting. Peridot didn’t really know where to go from here, though; while she’d had a few girlfriends in the past, she’d never had one  _ quite _ like Jasper…

She sighed as they parked, and neither of them spoke until they were looking at the menus. It was Jasper who broke the silence.

“Hey, uh- you can get whatever, okay? Since I already called it last night with the hotdog place.”

Peridot breathed out a relieved sigh.

“Oh, thank fuck.”

Jasper grinned at her, all toothy and lopsided, before returning to her menu.

They ordered, and it was a minute or two before Peridot broke the silence between them with the first “safe” question that crossed her mind.

“Hey, uh- you know what I do, but I don’t know  _ your _ job. You’re not, like, an international assassin who seduces her targets or something, right?”

Jasper looked confused for a breath before laughing.

“Not any more. I fix cars and beat up handsy drunks. Not in the same place, though. I’m a mechanic at Parker’s Garage and a bouncer at PrimeTime.”

“The strip club?” Peridot asked, incredulous. Jasper nodded. She flushed at the thought of Jasper being around such a smorgasbord of hot, scantily-clad women, and still finding  _ her _ , plain old  _ Peridot _ , attractive. Sure, Peridot could talk a good game about how great she was, but when it came right down to it, there wasn’t much  _ to _ her, and there never had been.

“What about you? Just selling…” Jasper paused, like she was embarrassed, and lowered her voice. “Uh, you know, toys?”

Peridot nodded as well. Jasper’s awkwardness about her job, especially after how frank she had been in the truck, was fucking  _ adorable _ .

“Yeah, for the most part. ‘M usually in class at BCU -- double major, Bio and IT -- but this summer I’m taking a break. I can only manage being a full-time student and working at the same time for so long before I have a stress breakdown.”

Jasper tilted her head to one side, what Peridot thought might be concern on her face.

“So… I take it you don’t have family to help you through school.”

Peridot shrugged.

“I’m used to it. I’ve been on my own for a good eight years now. ‘S what happens when you tell conservative parents you’re into women.”

Jasper flinched a little at that.

“Shit, I’m sorry--”

“No big,” Peridot said with a dismissive wave. “I was the family disappointment already. I’m just glad they aren’t trying to meddle in my life, at this point. You?”

Jasper rubbed the back of her neck and looked away.

“Uh, parents died when I was sixteen, and my sisters were fourteen and twelve. We’re doing well, now, at least…”

Peridot’s breath left her in a  _ whoosh _ as she sat back.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry--”

“Nah, it’s fine. We’re strong; always have been.”

Peridot fell silent again, and Jasper was quiet as well. Peridot felt- almost a little raw, after their sharing, and she didn’t want to step wrong, didn’t want to push Jasper away--

“Uh, any good stories from work?” Jasper asked in a low voice, cheeks flushed. It was  _ so fucking cute _ , how awkward Jasper was about the sex shop--

“Uh, um- god, fuck, there are a ton. We had a guy come in and buy one of our display mannequins once.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

“Yeah. Paid five hundred bucks for the damn thing, then also bought both of our silicone asses and more lube than any one person needs. His tab was like- almost two thousand dollars? It was ridiculous.”

“Jesus, sounds like it. Why do you think--”

“I don’t want to know. He was like fifty-something. I really, really do not want to know.”

Jasper shuddered and shook her head; it was a motion Peridot actually recognized -- she made a similar motion to dispel the unwanted thoughts that occasionally crept up on her and startled her with graphic images of bodily harm. That was very definitely the “begone, thought” headshake.

“We’ve also got one of the best pocket pussies I’ve ever seen in my  _ life _ ,” Peridot ventured, moving on so she wasn’t leaving Jasper to think about Old Man Sex for any longer than absolutely necessary. “It’s called the Mangina--”

“The what now,” Jasper intoned. Peridot fished out her phone and started flipping through her pictures.

“You’ve just got to see this. Words don’t do it justice.”

She turned the phone around and giggled like an  _ idiot _ at the confusion that swept over Jasper’s face.

“What the  _ fuck--” _

The Mangina was a pocket pussy… shaped like a dick. Instead of balls, it had a hole to fuck, so that it looked like you were fucking the inside of someone else’s cock.

“...someone has a fetish,” Jasper murmured, apparently unable to take her eyes off the toy. “I mean, that’s the job to have if you’ve got a fetish, but- what that  _ fuck…” _

Peridot was snickering as she returned her phone to her pocket.

“You’re welcome.”

Jasper ran her fingers through her hair with a laugh and shook her head. Peridot was briefly distracted by how  _ genuine _ Jasper seemed -- like she wasn’t trying to cover up her emotions. It was such a pleasant change from Lapis. Peridot could never read what her  _ real _ emotions were until she stepped wrong and learned that Lapis’s “real” emotions were all some variation on bored, depressed, or pissed. Though, most of the time, Peridot was sure Lapis had invented a new emotion called depissed and was focus-testing it on her.

It took a moment for her to realize she was staring, and she started a bit and scrambled to speak again.

“Truthfully, we sell it as a penis extender, or to help with erectile dysfunction. But yeah, uh- it’s a fetish toy. I don’t want to know  _ what _ formative experience you’d need to Pavlov  _ that _ one.”

Jasper was still laughing, soft and huffy, and Peridot couldn’t help the little flush that spread across her cheeks. Jasper had no right being cute  _ and _ hot as hell. It wasn’t fair.

“S-so, uh- anything interesting as a, uh- bouncer?” Peridot tripped over herself to ask, too flustered to think of another story at the moment.

Jasper made a soft  _ oh _ sound and tapped her chin, gaze elevated thoughtfully.

“Well, there’s not a lot of, uh- variety? Drunk marines thinking the girls are their property, mostly.” She gave a little amused huff and grinned. Her eyes squeezed shut and Peridot felt the grip of  _ oh no she’s cute _ crushing her chest. “I think my favorite is what one of the hostesses does. Keeps a jar near the door and tells the drunks ‘if you’re done with your ones, we’ll collect them here,’ as they leave, and- fuck, you wouldn’t  _ believe _ the tips they get from that.”

“Oh my god--” Peridot snorted and covered her face. “That works?”

Jasper nodded, laughing.

“Every night! Every damn night!”

Peridot had to lay her head down on her crossed arms, shoulders shaking.

“That’s fucking  _ brilliant _ ,” she said once she recovered, She rested one hand on the side of her face and propped her elbow up on the table. She could feel how hot her face was, all flushed from laughter and the way Jasper looked so damn  _ good _ on the other side of the table.

Their food showed up, and it was fairly quiet for a bit as they tucked in, the first few minutes spent enjoying the food and glancing surreptitiously at each other until Jasper slowed down and ventured conversation.

“So, like… do you like your job?”

Peridot perked up and nodded, having to swallow before she could speak.

“Fuck yeah! All kinds of neat stuff goes on, and I get to use some of the useless information I picked up about a hyperfixation. Where else do you get paid to talk about sex and praised for knowing the caloric value of semen?”

“Wait… what? Go back. Cum has calories?” Jasper looked flabberghasted.

“Yeah. Thirty-six calories per teaspoon.”

“Why would anyone even test for that…”

Peridot shrugged.

“Diets, man.”

Jasper snorted and then coughed, apparently almost aspirating eggs.

“Any other sexy facts?” Jasper asked once she had recovered. Peridot started ticking things off on her fingers, looking at the ceiling as she recalled a few facts.

“Uh, sex burns about four hundred calories an hour… can decrease the risk of heart disease, stroke, breast cancer, and depression… reduces stress and boosts the immune system… someone fucked in an MRI machine for science once and uh… different parts of the brain lit up based on what was being stimulated?”

Jasper tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow.

“That… sounds like an interesting study.”

“Right?” Peridot asked. “Get paid to fuck for science. My kind of job.”

Jasper laughed again, little gruff huffy sounds, and Peridot was reminded again just how fucking  _ cute _ she was when she looked unguarded like that--

She must have been staring, because after a moment Jasper blushed and looked away with a sheepish grin.

“I, uh- you’re, uh, you’re cute when you get to talking like that--” Jasper murmured.

“Wow- thanks-” Peridot said, incredulous. She still couldn’t quite believe that this Amazonian goddess was interested in  _ her-- _

Jasper put her fork down with a sigh and looked around the restaurant, then grinned a little.

“You, uh… you almost done? Then we can get onto that, uh--” Jasper seemed to lose her confidence, just a bit, and lowered her voice sheepishly. “That, uh, ravishing…”

Peridot had never finished a meal that quickly in her _life_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for the promised ravishing, but things don’t go quite as planned...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am SO SORRY that this took so long, but it's 6k words and gets really fuckin heavy ksjhdgsd
> 
> You have @succubitchxoxo on tumblr to thank for this getting out next! <3
> 
> This whole thing turned a lot heavier than I'd originally intended when I started this fic, but... I'm working through some stuff, and I feel like using fic to help me might also help _other_ people.
> 
> This chapter contains some consent issues -- I promise none of it is malicious, but it does have the potential to be triggery. If you want more information without too many spoilers, hop to the end notes and then you can decide if you think it might trigger you. As a prior warning, Jasper **does** get triggered and have a full-on meltdown, so BE PREPARED if that's something that might affect you!! Please be safe!!

Peridot worried her hands in her lap on the way back to her apartment, quiet, face flushed, sneaking glances over at Jasper every few seconds. Anxiety and excitement had her running hot, breathing too quickly. She  _ so _ wanted to fuck Jasper, holy shit, and  _ they were gonna fuck-- _

But the anxiety in her chest and belly had her stomach in knots, and the silence between them -- save for the songs on the radio -- wasn’t helping.

So she fell back on something familiar… and tangentially related to the situation at hand.

“D-did uh- did you know that the vibrator was the fifth electrical appliance in peoples’ homes?”

Jasper seemed to start a bit, glancing over at Peridot and giving an amused laugh.

“Really?” She sounded- not so much surprised as intrigued, prompting Peridot to continue with bolstered courage.

“Yeah! Right after, uh…” She looked at the roof of the truck and ticked off the list on her fingers. “The teakettle, sewing machine, fan, and uh- toaster.”

“Toasters happened early,” Jasper mused. “Sewing machine and fan I could see, but teakettle?”

Peridot shrugged.

“Beats me. It’s just funny that we got  _ sex toys _ before, like, refrigerators. Or TVs. Or radios.”

“No sweet, sexy tunes to make love to.”

“No Netflix and chill.”

“Sunset and chill,” Jasper said with a laugh, but then they were both quiet for a breath or two. They started talking at the same time.

“So-”

“So--”

Peridot stopped speaking in surprise, but barreled ahead on anxiety and adrenaline to continue her thought.

“Date two? Head outside of town with a blanket and watch the sun set?”

“And ‘chill?’” Jasper asked, her face creased into a wry grin.

“Assuming the mosquitoes don’t carry us off,” Peridot snickered.

“We can light, like, a thousand citronella candles. It’ll be romantic. And lemony.”

“Might as well bring dinner, too, if we’re going all-out,” Peridot said in a joking tone. Then she paused and gave Jasper a sheepish grin. “But really, like- that would be fun. See if we can find a night we’re both off work…”

Jasper nodded.

“This date’s going well enough. Wouldn’t mind another, sometime soon.”

A thrill fluttered in Peridot’s chest and she brightened, then burbled with laughter to drown out the return of her anxiety.

“We haven’t even fucked yet! What if I’m terrible in bed?”

Jasper let out a rumbly laugh in response, the sound making Peridot’s hair stand up and her skin tingle with pleasure.

“If you know you way around a clit, you’re a step up from my last girlfriend.”

“Puh-lease, I work at a sex shop. I could teach your g-spot to find  _ itself.” _

Jasper made a choking sound that had Peridot briefly worried, until she was thumping on the steering wheel as the same because more clearly laughter. Peridot felt her whole face flush with heat at Jasper’s expression, her big, toothy grin. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, a dumb little smile on her lips, still anxious but gaining confidence.

“On that note, did you know that the FDA doesn’t actually recognize that AFAB people even  _ have _ g-spots? Like, the g-spot doesn’t exist to the government.”

Jasper’s laughter started again with an ugly snort.

“The government’s run by old straight guys. They wouldn’t know a g-spot if it popped out and bit ‘em on the dick.” She shook her head. “It’s not that hard to find, even! Like, okay, I’ve never really gotten to find mine, but on my ex--”

“Wait, you haven’t played with your own g-spot?” Peridot wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Sex Ed has failed you.”

Jasper shrugged.

“I mean, it’s not… that important to me? My ex didn’t really care to do anything for me, so it’s not- like…”

Peridot waited expectantly for Jasper to continue, but she trailed off and stayed quiet.

Leaning back, Peridot let out a heavy sigh. She didn’t like the expression on Jasper’s face -- she seemed to be in pain, almost--

“...Jasper… do you wank? Like at all?”

Jasper started and flushed deeply; Peridot was a little thankful that she no longer looked grim and hurting, at least.

“I-I, uh- n-not- not really, I just, it isn’t- uh--” Jasper sighed and deflated, arms hanging slack from the steering wheel. “Doesn’t… feel right, or something. Doesn’t feel- uh- good. Which is- why I was gettin’ that, uh, toy, and- the lube--” She shook her head. “Sometimes I just, uh… feel broken.”

Peridot made a small, squeaky sound of distress.

“You- have you  _ ever _ gotten off, at least--”

Jasper looked over at her and shrugged.

“I mean, yeah, sometimes. But it’s not really- never really, uh, been worth the trouble…”

“Worth the trouble? What were you planning on doing once we got back to my place--”

“Uh-” Jasper looked sheepish. “Uh, ravishing you?”

“What, and not letting me return the favor? The fuck kind of sex is that--”

Admittedly, Peridot’s indignation was in part irritation that she might be denied Jasper’s thighs around her head or the sight of her coming undone--

Jasper cringed a little as she turned onto Peridot’s street.

“I just, uh- didn’t- want you to think--”

“Think what?” Peridot asked, wrinkling her nose, her tone not  _ accusing _ but very confused. “That you’re not attracted to me?”

“Fuck-  _ what? _ God, Peri, no, I’m attracted to you, I just- don’t want you to feel like--” She sighed as she put the truck in park in front of Peridot’s apartment. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re expected to do anything. My ex-- she’d always tell me how much of a hassle it was doing anything for me, and I just- really-  _ like _ you, and I don’t… want the fact that my body don’t work right to fuck anything up? Like, it’d be nice if you could, but I’m just not- worth the effort it would take, is all--”

Jasper leaned back in her seat and looked down at her hands in her lap. Peridot felt a rush of heat to her cheeks, first at how cute and unsure Jasper looked, and  _ then _ at how poorly she’d been treated--

“Jasper, I swear to  _ god _ I’m getting you off if it takes all day--”

“You don’t- have to- do that!!” Jasper babbled. “I’m really not--”

“Shut up. You’re absolutely worth it. I will not rest tonight until I’ve given you the best damn orgasm of you god damn  _ life, _ Jasper.”

“I--” Jasper rubbed her thumb and forefinger together and licked her lips. “Fuck, I’m not gonna be able to convince you I’m not worth the trouble, am I?”

“Nope. Clod. I’ve won enough toys from our sales contests that  _ something’s _ bound to work, and you’re worth the time it would take to try every damn one of them until you come so loud my neighbors call the cops.”

“I--” Jasper flushed and looked away, but she couldn’t hide the little grin on her face. “Only, uh- if you let me get you off first. I don’t want you to waste so much time on me and get nothin’ in return.”

Peridot leaned over and gave Jasper a peck on the cheek.

“If that’s what it takes to convince you, I will endure and overcome.” Peridot paused and snorted. “Get it? Over-come? That wasn’t even intentional!”

Jasper let out a little laugh.

“Cute  _ and _ witty. I can’t resist your nerdy charms…”

“Ooh, praise me harder,” Peridot purred, a goofy grin on her face. “Tell me how great I am.”

Jasper laughed and raised a finger to boop Peridot’s nose.

“Inside, oh wonderful one. Don’t need a cop knocking on the window.”

“Spoilsport.”

“You try fucking in a holding cell and tell me how sexy it is.”

“Hey, if you’re into doing it in public--”

“How are you doing that? Awkward nerd to eager and horny in an instant?”

Peridot settled back and looked away with a sheepish grin, scratching the side of her nose.

“I, uh- read, write, and watch a  _ shit _ ton of porn. And my crotch-to-brain-to-mouth filter is, sadly, in a constant state of disrepair. Be grateful I haven’t asked you to suffocate me with your thighs yet- ah, fuck.”

Jasper let out a bark of hearty laughter and opened the door.

“Let’s get inside so I can get on that ravishing I promised.”

Peridot practically fell out of the truck in her mad scramble to get into her apartment.

Once the door was locked behind them, though, all of Peridot’s courage left her, and she found herself pacing awkwardly in the tight confines of her tiny apartment, worrying the hem of her shirt. Every time she turned, she could see Jasper standing near the door, feet planted apart and hands in her pockets, looking anywhere but at her. It seemed like Jasper, too, was suffering from a loss of nerve.

Peridot wasn’t sure she’d be able to follow through on her boast -- she talked a big game, but she wasn’t the most experienced partner. Aside from Amethyst and Lapis, she’d only had a handful of flings here and there. She knew what  _ she _ liked, and she knew a lot about sex theory and toys, but she really wasn’t sure if it would translate as well as she hoped…

“You know, uh--” Jasper cleared her throat, still not making eye contact with Peridot. “We, uh- we don’t… need to, if you don’t--”

“Oh god, no, I want to--” Peridot squeaked, stopping in her tracks. “Fuck, I want to, I’m just--”

“Nervous?”

Peridot nodded.

“I don’t… have as much, uh,  _ experience _ as I made it sound…” she murmured.

“Ah, truth be told…” Jasper started, raising one arm to rub the back of her neck. She sighed. “Neither do I, yeah? Aside from my ex, I’ve had… well, honestly, a couple of casual girlfriends and boyfriends, but I’ve never really-  _ done _ much, ‘cept with my last one.” Jasper dropped her arm to her side and shrugged. “I mean, she seemed to like it okay, but… that’s just one.”

Peridot let out a relieved sigh.

“No sex goddesses here,” she said with a wry smile.

“None,” Jasper replied, letting out a soft, huffy laugh. “So how about we start with awkward teenage makeouts until our inner goddesses wake up?”

Peridot let out a snort, feeling the knot of tension between her shoulders starting to uncoil, and closed the distance between them to try to draw Jasper into a kiss.  _ Try. _ Jasper was considerably taller than her, and she found herself looking up at her, past gloriously full breasts, and frowning in frustration.

“You are  _ too tall. _ Stop being tall. Get down here and start kissin’ me, ya clod.”

Jasper laughed and ruffled Peridot’s hair as she walked past her.

“Fine, fine, I’ll get on your level. Pushy, pushy.” She sat down on the edge of the bed and patted her lap, shooting Peridot a grin. “Better?”

Peridot almost fell flat on her face as she scrambled to climb onto Jasper’s lap, straddle her hips, and then they were eye-to-eye, both of them blushing and glancing at the other’s lips. Peridot leaned in to kiss Jasper, but the anxiety knot in her belly tightened and she leaned back again, snatching the first thought she could out of the air.

“D-did you know that, uh, wearing socks can increase the chance of orgasm? Uh, cold feet is one of the distractions that can lead to anorgasmia--”

“So keep your socks on,” Jasper said, laughter in her voice.

“O-only if you keep  _ your _ socks on,” Peridot mumbled, looking away.

“Deal. So, we gonna make out like horny teenagers now? With our socks on.” Jasper paused. “...we have  _ got _ to think of a better way to say socks.”

“Gravity connector heat containment units.”

“Okay, a  _ sexier _ way to say socks.”

“Feet condoms.”

“No.”

Peridot giggled and looked away, all flushed and grinning, but didn’t make another move to continue. Jasper reached up to press her hand to Peridot’s cheek and turned her head, gently, until they were looking at each other again.

“You still nervous, too, Peri?”

Peridot nodded.

“This was easier with the adrenaline. And, uh… easier to… talk about…”

“Yeah,” Jasper said with a wry laugh. “Easier said than done, for sure.”

It was silent between them again, Peridot leaning her cheek into Jasper’s hand, the both of them snatching glances at the other’s lips without making eye contact. Peridot’s breathing quickened and her whole body grew hot, tingling with anxiety and expectation and the growing warmth of eagerness between her legs. She felt her heart skip a beat and her breath catch in her throat, and the moment of dizziness dazed her just enough to deaden the trepidation and urge her into action.

She took Jasper’s face in her palms before she could talk herself out of it, and then their lips were together, soft and hot and tentatively gentle. Peridot sucked a heady breath in through her nose and steadied herself, leaning into the kiss and closing her eyes.

Jasper’s other hand rose to cup her other cheek, the both of them holding each other steady, grounding, the kiss turning from a shy one to a series of shorter connections. Their lips met and parted as they breathed in the same air in gasp after excited gasp, their breathing rising to a fever pitch, a desperate pace--

Peridot’s hands moved to bury in Jasper’s hair; Jasper’s hands fell to rest on Peridot’s hips, steady, soft, warm -- grounding.

Jasper’s touches urged her into grinding, the pressure between her legs sending a shock of heat through her and eliciting a gaspy moan into the kiss.

The kiss deepened and their tongues were working in tandem, moving against each other, exploring, tasting, every brush of  _ Jasper _ against her sending flutters of heat to her core, egging her on, arousal drowning out anxiety with each renewed touch, every ragged gasp.

The heat in her body turned into desperate quivers, her inner walls tensing and expectant, but for the moment she was just grinding, kissing, gasping in quick breaths whenever they parted just long enough to yearn for touch and close in again. Her skin trembled with unspent energy, her whole body screaming to  _ get to it, _ but Jasper just felt so  _ good _ against her like this--

Jasper’s sounds, too, were delicious, deep ragged gasps in and growling breaths out, soft little whines when Peridot pulled away and breathy half-moans as she closed back in. Huge, warm hands kept guiding her motions, grinding jeans-on-jeans, teasing her mad until a shift of her hips had Peridot riding the seam, rocking her hips even more as she ground her clit against the fabric that separated the two of them.

Her shaky moan must have alerted Jasper to the change, because she pulled back with a gasp, and Peridot could see Jasper’s gaze darting across her features as they both panted in quick, hot breaths.

“Shirt?” Jasper grunted, and Peridot looked down as if she’d forgotten she’d even been wearing one. She nodded and leaned back enough to yank it over her head, then she was halfway back to the kiss before reconsidering and dragging her bra right over her head as well, gasping softly at the pull of the fabric over alert and sensitive nipples.

Instead of going back into the kiss, Jasper relocated one of her hands to Peridot’s chest, huge and hot and covering one of her small breasts in its entirety, the heat and contact making her arch and suck in a reedy breath.

“ _ Fuck,” _ Peridot breathed out, a shiver going up her spine.

“Fits nice,” Jasper growled, voice low and husky but a lopsided, almost goofy grin on her face.

“Gonna do anything with it, or just be my new bra--” Peridot said, too caught up in the moment to be self-conscious about her words.

Jasper’s thumb nudged against her nipple and she squeaked, and then Jasper was rubbing and massaging with rough motions that made Peridot sight out a satisfied  _ mmn _ sound.

“Better?” Jasper purred. Peridot nodded.

“M-much.”

Jasper’s kneading kept up as she urged Peridot back into grinding; Peridot tangled her fingers back into Jasper’s wild mane of hair and closed back into a breathless kiss. The deluge of sensation made it hard to focus, though, with so many  _ feelings _ to process, and she broke the kiss to breathe, panting and overwhelmed and almost a little dizzy.

“Somethin’ wrong?” she heard Jasper gasp. She looked up and saw genuine worry on her flushed face, then shook her head.

“Just- a lot,” Peridot mumbled.

Jasper leaned in to press a quick, more chaste kiss to Peridot’s lips.

“We can slow down.”

“I was thinkin’ more like speed up,” Peridot mumbled as she looked away. Speed up before she lost her nerve amidst the crowd of sensation.

“That works, too,” Jasper said with a huffy laugh that made Peridot’s clit throb with her heartbeat. “Any preference?”

Peridot thought for just a moment before her pussy tried to tense up around nothing and very insistently made the decision for her.

“Fingerfuck me,” she breathed, the blantant  _ lewdness _ of her request making her shiver and flush.

Jasper grunted and nodded, but grinned as she leaned her head to one side and tugged on Peridot’s belt loops.

“Gonna be tough with these on.”

“Oh-!!” Peridot squeaked and scrambled off of Jasper’s lap, frantically trying to shuck her pants and underwear before she lost her nerve. As she went to slide back onto Jasper’s lap, she was stymied with a hand flat on her belly.

“Nah, lie down on your back,” Jasper said with a tilt of her head towards the pillow. “Better view.”

Peridot made a little soft squeaky sound and rushed to comply, stretching out on her bed and at once feeling so damn small and  _ vulnerable _ under Jasper’s gaze as she leaned over and surveyed her.

She closed her legs and shifted her hips, rubbing her thighs together and pulling her arms in some, feeling an intense wave of self-consciousness sink into the pit of her stomach.

Jasper’s hand fell to rest on her belly and she flinched, looked away.

“What’s wrong?”

She shrugged.

“I can stop if you’re not into it…”

“N-no!!” Peridot babbled. “No, I just- I--” She looked away again. “Are- are you sure  _ you _ want to?”

“Peridot, you look gorgeous like this, and you’re making some sexy, cute-as-hell sounds. I want to hear more, but if you want to stop, I will.”

“Please don’t,” she mumbled in a soft voice. Her clit twinged and she shifted her hips again, opened her thighs.

Jasper hand slipped lower, resting warm and heavy just above her slit, but Jasper still paused, looking up at Peridot with a question in her eyes.

Peridot took a shaky breath in and nodded, and then Jasper’s fingers parted her lips, rubbing slow nudges against her clit that made her tilt her hips in easy increments to keep time.

Jasper leaned in and drew Peridot into another kiss, this one slower and softer than their earlier hungry makeout. Peridot buried her fingers in Jasper’s hair and tugged, gently, eliciting a soft gasp into the kiss.

Jasper’s rubs and nudges only picked up the tiniest bit, teasing, and Peridot was acutely aware of the curve of Jasper’s fingertips as they drew soft little gasps from her chest. Her inner walls tensed and  _ begged _ to be filled, but the heat trembling from her clit pushed back against the need, holding it at bay for a few more seconds until Jasper’s fingers slipped lower, to play at her entrance, strokes flat against her heated flesh and teasing with the promise of penetration without following through just yet.

Peridot whined and tugged at Jasper’s hair, lifting her hips in the hopes that the motion would slip Jasper’s fingers inside her. She swallowed Jasper’s huffy laughter hungrily and started grinding against her fingertips, too eager to wait another moment.

Two of Jasper’s fingers plunged inside her and she let out a keening moan that broke the kiss, her hips jerking at the sudden burst of sensation. Her pussy fluttered around Jasper’s fingers as she finally got what she so craved. Jasper started fucking her in short thrusts, the motions speeding thrust by thrust, with Peridot rocking her hips up into them and gripping Jasper’s hair in desperation.

She could feel every motion in acute detail, the forceful thrusts in and the way her pussy clung on to every dip and furrow in Jasper’s skin as she pulled back out to repeat the process. She let out a series of soft squeaks as Jasper added a third thick finger and started thrusting harder.

Peridot had to release Jasper’s hair in order to grip her bedsheets instead, ground herself, using it to rock her hips more, meeting Jasper’s motions.

Fuck it had been a  _ while _ since she’d last gotten laid, hadn’t it- but-  _ damn-- _

The pulses of pleasure Jasper’s thrusts were sending through her drowned out the last of her rational thought and she gave herself over completely to lust, throwing her head back and arching, moaning, demanding more and more with her hungry body.

Jasper’s gruff, panting breaths just above her filled her senses, the smell of desert sage and creosote, stronger and heady with her so close, filling in the edges. She sucked in quick, desperate breaths, trying to cling to every tremble of heat and crackle of pleasure as she spiraled upwards, her muscles tensing in quick flutters as she grew closer and closer to climax, teasing the crest long before she’d reached it.

She came with a gasp, the rush of intense pleasure paralyzing her chest and trapping her breath, and for a moment the only part of her moving was her pussy clenching around Jasper’s still-moving fingers in pulses, and then her breath left her in a whooshing, guttural moan, her body going gloriously boneless save her hips and tensing inner walls.

Jasper’s thrusts slowed bit by bit, and Jasper’s lips pressed against the curve of her neck as she started to come down, whining out little whimpers at each shivering aftershock. Her skin was hot and slicked with sweat, flushed bright red under her freckles.

When Jasper finally slipped her fingers from inside her, Peridot breathed out a whiny sigh.

“You doin’ okay?” Jasper asked, her voice thick and husky but oddly dull, once Peridot’s mind cleared enough to pick up on it. But another aftershock drove the thought from her head and she nodded, breathless. Jasper’s smile was sedate and almost tired, wrinkles creasing the corners of her eyes.

“I am Thoroughly Ravished,” Peridot purred, leaning her head back to let herself sink more into the bed, a dumb, tired smile on her lips.

“Good,” Jasper grunted, then leaned down to press a kiss between Peridot’s breasts. She squeaked and giggled, twisting her torso just a bit at the tickle of Jasper’s hair on her chest and belly.

“Hey, hey, fuzzy--” She snorted and laughed. “No tickling, that ain’t my kink.”

Jasper made a little  _ oh? _ Sound and blinked down at her, then flushed a second or two later and looked away, expression unreadable.

“Ah, sorry--”

“Huh?” Peridot asked, then shook her head. “Nah, don’t worry, I was just kidding. You ready for your turn, oh Amazonian Sex Goddess?”

Jasper settled back and wiped her fingers on her pants leg absently, chewing her lower lip and looking off to the side.

“I, uh…” Peridot watched as she ran her tongue over her lips and swallowed hard, not making eye contact. “I want to, I just- what if you think I’m not worth it?”

Peridot sighed and moved to pat Jasper’s thigh.

“It’s okay. You’re worth the trouble, I think. It might also have something to do with wanting to wear your thighs like headphones, admittedly.”

Jasper gave a sort of breathy, absent laugh.

“But,” Peridot continued with a sigh. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I can, I dunno, figure out some other way to reciprocate until you’re ready.”

She watched as Jasper tilted her head to one side and furrowed her eyebrows.

“No, I uh- I want to,” she said, her voice low and gruff, but she still wasn’t making eye contact.

Peridot frowned.

“I don’t want to force you--”

“I want to!” Jasper snapped, her voice high and squeaky and quivering. It wasn’t intimidating; no part of her tone or mien spoke of danger, and Peridot didn’t even flinch. Jasper deflated and settled back on her heels, flicking her gaze to Peridot and then away again like a dog who Knew What She’d Done. “S-sorry--”

“No, Jasper, it’s fine,” Peridot said. She licked her lips and pushed herself into a sitting position with a few careful motions, then rubbed at Jasper’s thigh. “If you really want to, I will, but if you want me to stop for  _ any _ reason, just tell me, and I will. Immediately. I promise.”

Jasper made eye contact, briefly, then closed her eyes and sighed, nodded.

“Okay. I won’t, though. I want to do this.”

Peridot shivered a little and felt a tremble of trepidation go through her, not fear  _ of _ Jasper, but fear of  _ hurting her, _ fear that Jasper felt like she had no choice in the matter. Peridot sighed and nodded.

“Okay. Well-- what do you like best, then?”

Jasper leaned back and looked thoughtful, rubbing her thumb and forefinger absently as she stared at the sheets beneath them.

“I, uh… surprise me. Whatever  _ you _ like best. Or, uh, just- whatever--”

Peridot made a soft sound, a weak little whiny sigh, and moved until she was able to rest her hands on Jasper’s shoulders and press a soft kiss to her lips. She felt the tension in Jasper’s muscles ease a bit, followed by the worry in her own chest. She’d do as Jasper wanted, but- she’d do her best to stay  _ aware. _ She wasn’t sure  _ what _ to do about- whatever was going on with Jasper. She didn’t want to ruin this, ruin  _ them, _ but she didn’t want to  _ hurt _ Jasper, either, no matter how badly Jasper seemed to want her to -- at least, not in  _ this _ context. She’d do physical pain if Jasper asked -- hell, she’d give or take  _ there, _ and the thought sent a little thrill through her -- but this? Something felt  _ wrong. _ But neither option -- stop  _ or _ go -- seemed like the right choice.

And, admittedly, she  _ did _ want to make Jasper feel good--

“Uh, let’s--” Peridot’s voice was a little gruff, her throat constricted with anxiety, and she coughed to clear it. “Let’s start with your clothes?”

Jasper seemed to jump a bit, looking at Peridot for a brief moment, fear flashing in her eyes.

“N-no, I- can I keep my clothes- on--” she mumbled, looking away. Peridot furrowed her brow and tilted her head to one side.

“I mean, sure, that’s not a problem- but you, uh, wanna swap places? Your turn with the pillows and all.”

Jasper nodded, and Peridot slid off the bed to allow her to rearrange. Once Jasper’s head was on the pillow, hands resting just under her breasts with an awkwardness suggesting she had no idea what else to do with them, Peridot climbed back onto the bed to straddle Jasper’s hips. She pressed a hand on either side of Jasper’s face and leaned in, pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

When she pulled back, there was a little smile on Jasper’s face, finally, though she was still looking off to one side. Peridot sighed, almost a bit relieved, and drifted her hand down Jasper’s chest.

“You good?” she asked, giving Jasper another chance to back out. Jasper nodded, though, and Peridot leaned in to press a kiss to the curve of Jasper’s neck, making her shiver.

“Just gonna use my fingers, m’kay?” she asked, her voice soft. “Put my hand down your pants like a horny teenager.”

Jasper snorted, and the light laughter made Peridot feel a bit better about things.

Peridot scooted back and ran her fingers down Jasper’s chest, over her clothes, just idle drifting motions that made Jasper start to squirm a bit, make soft pleased sounds, and close her eyes. Peridot sighed and smiled in relief, happy to see Jasper actually enjoying the contact.

She pushed Jasper’s shirt up some and slipped her hands under, fingers working over the softness of Jasper’s belly. She looked up at the ensuing snort and couldn’t help but start giggling when Jasper did, keeping up her gentle rubbing while Jasper squirmed beneath her.

Her fingers traced loops and whorls along Jasper’s skin, and she drifted them lower, skirting the hem of Jasper’s pants before unbuttoning and unzipping her fly. When she slipped the fingers of her right hand under the band of Jasper’s underwear, though, she felt Jasper’s muscles tense up, and she glanced towards her face with a questioning sound.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Jasper growled, her eyes still closed, brow furrowed. “Keep going.”

Peridot slipped her fingers lower, working two under the tangle of hair between Jasper’s legs to part her lips, nudge tentatively at her clit.

Jasper made a soft whimpering sound and jerked her hips, and Peridot found herself pausing again as Jasper clamped both hands over her mouth and nose.

“You want--”

“Don’t stop,” Jasper grunted, the words muffled by her palms.

Two fingers rocked sedately on and against Jasper’s clit, the motions slow and wary as Peridot kept an eye on Jasper, her face, her expression, not at all sure if she should even be  _ doing _ this, but- Jasper wanted--

She only relaxed a little bit as Jasper’s hips started rocking in time with her rubbing, mostly because Jasper still seemed tense, eyes closed and expression less “ecstasy” and more “anxiety.”

Jasper let out a muffle, whiny moan, which at least spurred Peridot on into speeding her motions, feeling the movement slicked by Jasper’s fluids, and Jasper’s hips kept rocking in quick little barely-there motions.

Jasper made a sharp, nasal sound as Peridot worked one finger inside her. She was tight -- Peridot dully remembered something about her having trouble getting a toy in -- so she moved slowly, gently rubbing-

But when she tried to press a second finger inside her, Jasper jerked her hips and practically  _ shrieked,  _ writhing and bringing her knees up with such force that Peridot was nearly knocked to the floor.

“Out! Out out out stop  _ stop stop stop--” _

Peridot rushed to withdraw her fingers as Jasper scrambled out from under her, pressing hard against the wall at the head of Peridot’s bed, curled up against the window ledge and shaking violently, panting, letting out desperate squeaks that seemed so wrong and  _ frightening _ coming from someone of her stature--

“Fuck, Jasper, I’m sorry- are you okay?” Peridot babbled, hands in front of her, fingers splayed, completely at a loss for what to do. “Fuck, can I- what can I do--?”

Jasper buried her head under her arms and became a shuddering knot of denim and hair. Peridot backed off and fell silent, fighting a rush of anxiety and outright  _ fear _ as she gripped the bedsheets beneath her, feeling her breathing coming quick and short and dizzying.

She didn’t know what to  _ do-- _

“O-okay, Jasper, it’s- i-it’s okay--” she stammered, half to herself. She sucked in a quick breath, but then started trying to slow down, force herself calm. “Jasper, it’s me. It’s Peridot. What do you need? What can I do?”

Jasper shivered and made a soft, shaky sobbing sound. But then words were coming out, thick and fast and earnest, in a voice constricted by emotion.

“Sorry- fuck-  _ god I’m so sorry-” _ she spat out snatches of a Spanish phrase so quickly Peridot wouldn’t have understood it even if she  _ did _ speak the language- “Fuck, I thought- fuck- sorry, I wanted to, I promise, I swear I wanted to, I just- fuck- I’m- I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I just wanted--”

“Jasper,” Peridot breathed, creeping closer and resting a hand on her shoulder. Jasper flinched, but looked up. Peridot could see tears glittering out from beneath the shadows of her hair.

“I-I’m sorry-” Jasper whined. Peridot could feel her shaking.

“N-no, Jasper, it’s- there’s nothing to apologize for,” Peridot said softly, quashing the sheer panic with every ounce of self-control she could muster, because Jasper  _ needed _ her- “You don’t have to.”

“N-no, I- I tried, I promise I tried, I just-”

“Jasper. It’s okay to not want sex.” Peridot tried to make her voice definitive, but she didn’t feel like she was convincing. “I shouldn’t have made you think I  _ needed _ to fuck you. I’m sorry.”

“N-no!!” Jasper squeaked, then covered her face with her hands again. “I wanted to! I-” She paused, trembling, and shook her head. “I- I  _ wanted _ to want to- I swear- I- I like you, I want to make you  _ happy-” _

Peridot ran her hand up and down Jasper’s upper arm in a motion she sincerely hoped was soothing.

“Forcing yourself into sex is  _ not _ what would make me happy, Jasper,” Peridot murmured. “I want to make you happy, and I want to make you feel good, but we don’t  _ have _ to have sex. We can find other ways to make you feel good. Please- god, please don’t hurt yourself trying to make me happy, fuck-”

Jasper shivered and, for the first time in an agonizingly long time, made eye contact.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll understand if you don’t want to date someone who doesn’t wanna-”

“Jasper, I have enough sex toys to be a felon in Texas. Orgasms do not have to be a “we” scenario.”

Jasper seemed- almost shocked? at Peridot’s comment.

“N-no, I- I actually, uh- I don’t  _ mind _ doing things for you-”

“You don’t have-”

“No, I like that part! I just… don’t like… the way sex brain feels…”

Peridot blinked and wrinkled her nose. That was not something she’d heard of before.

“How what feels? You mean like- orgasms?”

“No, uh- like- before that? I don’t… like the way it feels, like I’m not inside my body, and I don’t- I  _ really _ don’t like not being able to remember-”

The description of Jasper’s “sex brain” threw Peridot for a loop -- it was a sensation she was intimately familiar with, but not in  _ this _ context-

“Jasper… are you dissociating through sex?”

“Dissociating?” Jasper asked, her voice thin and small and confused, entirely unfitting her- well, her  _ everything. _

“Uh-” Peridot paused, and blinked, and tried to think of some way to- “Do you, like, feel like that, uh, around like, panic attacks and stuff, too?”

Jasper frowned a little, looking at the space between them for a moment before her eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah, I- how did you know-?”

Peridot crept forward and rested a hand on Jasper’s knee, settling down to sit on  _ her _ knees.

“Jasper… I think you’re dissociating.”

“Huh,” Jasper said, still- looking a bit confused, Peridot thought. “So, sex brain…”

“Is not normal. You’re not  _ supposed _ to dissociate during sex. Dissociating is you brain’s way of checking out, from like, traumatic shit. Your brain thinks sex is traumatic?”

Peridot stopped, sucking in a sharp breath at the realization. She moved to cover her mouth with the hand not resting on Jasper’s knee.

“Did something…”

“N-no!!” Jasper’s voice was strained and she looked downright  _ terrified. _ “I never- no!! I’m- I was never-”

Peridot scooted a bit closer, leaned in. Jasper was clearly distraught, and despite how badly she wanted to kiss all of Jasper’s pain away, she know that it was out of her hands. Instead, she leaned in and cupped the side of Jasper’s face as gently as she could manage.

“It’s okay if you were. If you weren’t, that’s okay, too. Maybe you just don’t like the way it feels, and that’s okay, too.”

“Maybe I’m just broken.”

“No.”

“There are enough other things fucked up about me-”

“Jasper, I will not let you talk shit about yourself. I am the Great And Adorable Peridot, and I don’t make mistakes. So say somethin’ nice about yourself, you gloomy fuckin’ clod.”

Jasper looked up at her, confusion spread all across her features, and Peridot watched emotion after unreadable emotion flash across her tear-stained face before Jasper finally just  _ laughed. _

“You  _ brat!” _

Peridot let out a long sigh of relief, grateful that that had seemed to work. Then, she set her face into as serious an expression as she could manage and poked Jasper in the nose.

“Hey, I’m not kidding! Say something nice about yourself!”

“Uh-” Jasper crossed her eyes to look at Peridot’s finger and laughed again. “I, uh. I have- good taste in nerdy girlfriends?”

Peridot blushed, but redoubled her efforts.

“No. Nice try, buttering me up, but I mean about  _ you.” _

Jasper’s face fell, and she grew serious, expression thoughtful.

“I, uh…” she trailed off, tilted her head to one side. “I’m… I can hold my own in a fight? Uh-”

Peridot leaned in and pressed a quick peck to Jasper’s forehead.

“It’s a start. How are you feeling, now?”

Jasper actually snuffled with laughter for a moment, her nose wrinkling up at Peridot’s kiss, but then she grew thoughtful again.

“I mean, from my hips down feels kinda like radio static, but- I think I’m okay. For now.”

Peridot sighed and closed her eyes.

“That’s a relief. Do you… wanna talk about it more? I can listen, if you want.”

Another few moments of thoughtful silence from Jasper, and then she shook her head, eyes closed.

“N-no, I- I think I’d rather cuddle, if that’s okay?”

Peridot sighed and nodded, a tired smile on her face.

“Okay, I can do that. Let me get my clothes on.”

“If you keep your top off, I’ll take mine off,” Jasper said with a wry smile. The opportunity for skin-on-skin contact made Peridot flush in anticipation.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The consent in this chapter is wobbly; it is, technically, coercion -- but the only one coercing Jasper into it is _herself._ She wants to want it, and pushes herself well past her comfort zone and on into her panic zone. Her actions aren't healthy or good, but they aren't inherently _bad,_ just bad _for her._
> 
> They both want to do right by themselves and each other, which leads to pushing boundaries that shouldn't be pushed, which ends up with Peridot being exceedingly uncomfortable and Jasper getting hurt. Neither are in the wrong; neither are in the right. In this situation, there was no "good" outcome where everyone feels nice and happy with themselves and each other.
> 
> Thank you for reading; it means a lot to me that you're interested in what I produce, and I just hope you're still interested despite things getting more serious than when they started.


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